Never Forget Me
by ConfessionsOfaTeenagedFangirl
Summary: Blaine Anderson is a well-known, highly respected firefighter living a happy, healthy life in Westerville, Ohio, with his husband and the love of his life, Kurt Hummel. One of the worst fires the town has seen in years strikes and Blaine gets called in for the job. When the collapse of the building with Blaine still inside of it, will both Blaine and Kurt's lives change forever?
1. Prologue

**This entire thing is based on a Tumblr prompt I got a couple weeks ago. At first I was unsure of it because, I do not particularly like writing Angsty Klaine. (Fluff is good enough for me) but I figured - I am a writer and I must test my limits, so here it is. See you at the bottom!**

**-Robin**

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The air wasn't cold, like it should be in mid-January when there was snow on the ground. It was burning hot. Flames were rising into the air, getting hotter and higher- getting more vicious with each passing second. Families that lived in the west wing of the complex came rushing out, running for their lives. But the fire was still getting bigger, slowly swallowing the building like a snake, and the apartment complex was huge- there was no way everyone had gotten out yet.

The firetrucks arrived not too long after the fire had even started, and men and women alike went straight to work with only one goal: leave no one behind. More and more people gathered around outside- there were never fires this bad in Westerville; everyone was concerned.

The media arrived soon after, the fire was a big deal, and was big news. No one wanted to miss out. They all waited, worried and anxious, as the heroes in yellow brought survivors out, lead them to a medical examiner and rushed back inside.

Sirens were blaring all around them, groups of people were barely visible through the heavy smoke that was filling the air quickly. The bright, flashing lights broke through the clouds of smoke, leading the firefighters like a ship to a lighthouse. Yells, coughs and cries of pain filled the air, louder than the sirens themselves.

Four of the five firefighters were now out of the house- but where was the other one? Newscaster Amelia Bands got closer to the chief, who was stationed near an ambulance, talking to his firefighters. She caught bits and pieces of the conversation over all the noise, but was still unsure completely as to what was going on. Apparently, though, Anderson was making his way outside with the last family of three.

When they exited the burning building, half the crowd seemed to sigh with relief, but it was silenced quickly as the building gave a loud groan; the fire was refusing to be diminished, and the building wasn't going to last too much longer. The woman who had just exited the building was shouting something about her son: he was still inside.

The firefighter transferred her from his arms to another man in yellow, yelled something no one could make out, and turned, sprinting back inside the building. Again, the building creaked, causing surrounding voices to hush. Seconds dragged like minutes as they watched, waiting.

By now, police were surrounding the area, keeping the crowd a safe distance away from the fire. There were several people who tried to escape the crowd to go and see their loved one's who had been trapped inside, but they were pushed back with warnings: they would not pass.

The fire was finally starting to dim, and the feeling of relief washed over everyone like a tidal wave. A boy of about fifteen came stumbling out of the building, immediately being surrounded by medics. But where was the firefighter that had entered the building five minutes ago? A new wave of voices rose as everyone pondered the question. The fire was nearly out now, but the building was still groaning, threatening to give way.

The entire crowd became silent as the building started to fall. It started out slowly, a few pieces of wood clattering on the pavement, but in less than a minute, half of the building was out of the air and lying on the ground. Surprisingly, amazingly, the crowd was still quiet. Sirens were still blaring and reporters still narrating into microphones and cameras, but nobody knew what to do.

The ominous, movie-like silence was broken a few second later when a man broke through the crowd, screaming, trying to get past the barriers. The officers attempted to hold him back, but he broke free of them, running toward what was left of the half-standing building.

A firefighter with the name "Montgomery" printed on his back tried to restrain the man from getting any closer to the building, which could continue falling at any moment, wrapping his arms tightly around the man's waist. The man was still screaming, his voice filled with desperation and agony so strong, it hurt the others just to hear it.

"BLAINE!"

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**I LOVE writing cliffhangers! **

**Sorry!**

**Anyway, this might take away some suspense and stuff, but I feel obligated to tell you that Blaine does not die. **

**Also, I will try to update as much as possible, but I am working on a few other stories at the moment, so they all might be delayed. Please Review with any suggestions/concerns! Thanks and until next time!**

**- Robin**


	2. Chapter 1

– **Seven Hours Earlier –**

"Is he asleep?" Kurt asked as Blaine walked back into the kitchen. He nodded, but didn't speak. This wasn't unusual for Blaine to do but today, it made Kurt a little anxious. He wanted Blaine to say _something. _He'd been quite ever since he got off the phone with his mother, and Kurt was desperate to know what they had talked about to make him so standoff-ish.

Blaine would tell him when he was ready, though, and Kurt was excellent at being patient.

Kurt attempted to start a conversation again- he hated seeing Blaine so unlike himself. "Are you still planning on going in tonight?" Blaine nodded. Kurt turned off the water in the sink and stared down into it, watching the water swirl around until it all fell down the drain. "The usual time?" through the corner of his eye, he saw Blaine nod.

He heard Blaine sigh. "I'm sorry," he said, starting on drying and putting away the dishes Kurt had just finished. Kurt leaned back against the counter, drying his hands on the dish towel that normally hung on the stove. He set his eyes on a spot behind Blaine's head, not wanting to look in his eyes just yet.

"I know you are," he replied, and he meant it. He was trying not to make this any harder on Blaine than it already was, but that didn't mean he could stop himself from worrying; stop unwanted thoughts and scenarios from playing out inside his mind. He wasn't mad at Blaine at all, but he knew it was coming across that way. He was trying to keep his tone in check as much as possible; he didn't want a fight- especially when there was no reason for it.

If he was being honest, which he always was- he didn't like Blaine's job. _At all_. He knew that Blaine found solace in the fact that, at the end of the day, he had saved somebody's life, but every time Blaine was gone it made him uneasy. It wasn't so bad during the day, when Kurt had his own job to keep him distracted, but when Blaine worked the night shifts (which he'd been having to do more often lately) Kurt was never able to sleep, or get over the sense that _something _was going to happen. It had been four years since Blaine had took the job and, needless to say, Kurt still hadn't gotten used to it.

He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt Blaine's arm wrap around his waist, his fingers resting lightly on the small of Kurt's back. He was looking at him in a way that made Kurt wonder what kind of look he had on his face- were his thoughts and fears visible in his features?

"I have to go now," Blaine said in a low whisper, regret lining every edge of his voice. Kurt felt a bit of guilt start to rise inside of him at the words; Blaine was regretting doing something that he loved just because Kurt didn't like it. He didn't want it to be like that, but he could lie and say that he was perfectly fine with his husband risking his life every single day.

Kurt wrapped his arms around Blaine as Blaine embraced his, their lips meeting for a soft, slow kiss. He sighed when they broke apart, telling himself that _someone _had to go in tonight. It didn't change the fact that he hated that it had to Blaine. "Just... be careful, okay?"

Blaine's lips twitched slightly, knowing from just Kurt's words that everything between them was still okay. These words were routine to them; if Blaine ever left for work and they weren't spoken, then he knew something between them was wrong. But right now, everything was fine.

He looked into Kurt's eyes and spoke the word Kurt already knew was coming. "Always."

Kurt's arms tightened around Blaine for a moment, reluctant to let him go. He released him after a few seconds though, kissed him once more, and let him walk away. A few minutes after he heard the front door close lightly, he pulled out his phone and dialed Blaine's number. Blaine answered before the first ring had even stopped.

"I love you,"

"I love you, too."

He smiled sadly and hung up, calling Rachel immediately afterward. She answered on the third ring and Kurt looked at the clock. It wasn't too late, and he was wondering if she had been expecting his call. Her first words answered his question for him.

"Did Blaine leave?" she asked in a sympathetic tone. He could imagine clearly what her facial expression and body position looked like right now and smiled, despite himself, that they knew each other well enough for him to be able to guess so.

"Yeah," he whispered, quietly making his way down the hall to check that his son was still fast asleep.

"Talk to me, sweetie."

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**A/N: So, I'm thinking of updating every Tuesday to give the story some consistency. (unless there are conflicts for whatever reason) This one was just a little drabble, but the other chapters will be longer, I promise. I just didn't like the idea of changing times in the middle of the Chapter, so, yeah... I'm gonna shut up now. **

**Please Review!**

** -****3 Robin xx**


	3. Chapter 2

**Wow. The response I've gotten on this is just... surprising. I'm glad people like it, considering it's so difficult to write.**

**This is one killed me to write, but I had to do it and things will get both sadder and happier as the story progresses, so heads up. I don't think tissues are really needed for this chapter, but you might wanna keep them nearby, just in case...**

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**- Present -**

It was impossible for Kurt to stay still. When he was sitting, he was tapping his fingers or shaking his leg. When he wasn't sitting, he was pacing the length of the hall. Back and forth. Over and over again. Everyone in the little waiting area set in the corner of the fourth floor was dead silent. Doctors and nurses were passing by every now and then, but none of them were the person that Kurt wanted to see; the one that had the answers to his questions.

Waiting here in the hospital was even worse for him then when he was watching, helpless, as the building collapsed. Knowing he was so close, yet so far away from the one person he needed the most in the world was the worst feeling in the world. And not knowing whether or not he would ever even get to see that person again... He shook his head. He wasn't going to think about that. He wasn't ready to think like that.

His phone vibrated in his pocket and he took it out with shaking hands, opening Missy's text. _'Update: Jack's still fast asleep. Everything is fine. What's going on?' _Kurt opened the picture that was attached to the message and his nerves faded the slightest bit at the sight of his son. He hated being away from Jack when he was on edge, but didn't want to bring him to the hospital yet. He wasn't in the right state of mind to deal with anything other then what was going on now. And even then, he didn't know if he could deal with this.

He replied with the same thing he'd been telling everyone since he arrived here almost two and a half hours ago. He made a mental note to thank whoever it was that invented auto-correct, because with his hands shaking so badly, there was no way he would've been able to reply without it.

He sent the message and went back to his pacing, wondering... What the hell was going on? Where was everyone? Why wouldn't anybody tell him anything? Surely knowing _something _could be better than not knowing anything, right? He stared at the picture of his son as he walked the all-too familiar path around the hall. His sleeping figure was curled up in his little bed, his favorite blanket tangled around him. Thinking back, he was pretty sure that it was relatively the same position he'd left him in when he left the apartment hours earlier.

The second he heard the sirens go off, he had shot up in bed, where he had been trying and failing to sleep. He'd heard those same exact sirens go off multiple times since they'd moved to Westerville, but this time it was different. For whatever reason, he felt that something was going to go wrong- he'd been right. He called Missy- who he knew had just gotten done her night shift- and asked her to watch Jack while he went and checked everything out. She agreed quickly, and he was out of the house and at the source of the fire within ten minutes.

And then he was watching as person after person came out of the burning building. Watched over the heads of strangers as Blaine came out of the building and then went back in. He knew something was wrong the minute he saw Wes yell after Blaine. He started pushing past everyone that was in his way until he was in the front of the line. And then the horrifying groan of protest escaped from the building and he felt his heart crawl up into his throat and stop beating. Blaine still hadn't come out yet...

Everything after that was a blur of movements and clouded songs blended together. Snapshot of scenes remained in his mind, but not enough for him to piece a lot together. Arms were restraining him, and he couldn't get to Blaine... Medics and officers rushed into the building after what seemed like hours of silence... Blaine was being put into the ambulance... Wes was taking Kurt to his car... And then they were in the hospital, and Wes took Kurt's phone and was calling his parents...

It was a good half hour after he had been sitting in the chair until it finally started to sink in that what was happening was real, and that this wasn't just a vivid nightmare. He hadn't been able to sit still since. And now, he was being kept in the dark about everything that was happening, and it made him even more uneasy. He wanted to know what was going on, and he wanted to know now. Was that really too much to ask?

He would shed no tears. Not yet. Not until he knew there was an actual reason for the tears to come. Blaine could be okay. It was a slim chance, and he knew that, but it was still a chance. And that one ghost of a chance was the only thing that was keeping him grounded right now. The only thing that was keeping him sane.

The elevator bell ding-ed and Kurt's eyes immediately found the doors as they started to slide open. It was probably just a visitor for a patient, but it didn't matter. Every time the elevator stopped on their floor, he always looked to see- just in case it happened to be the doctor he was waiting for.

The elevator emptied, but no doctor stepped out. Two of the people who did start walking toward him, though, were two faces that he was more than ecstatic to see. Looking at his father had the same relatively calming effect on him that looking at his son had. He took in the look within his father's eyes and knew they were thinking the same thing- neither one of them had been in this hospital since his mother had died.

"What's going on? Wes didn't tell us very much..." Kurt shook his head and looked away from his father. He didn't want to talk about this. He couldn't talk about it. He couldn't sit there and speak aloud the thoughts that had been consuming his mind like a fire. Speaking them would only make everything more real, and Kurt didn't want any of this to be real at all; he wanted it all to be a nightmare. Even though he knew it was real, he didn't want to accept it.

Wes came over, then and started to explain what little they did know so far. Kurt was thankful that he was saved from the agony of having to reply. Both his father and Carole were looking at him strangely and he wondered vaguely what his expression looked like. "What about his parents? And Cooper? Where are they?" Kurt snapped out of his thoughts at Carole's words and his mind started racing. How could he forget about Blaine's family? What was he supposed to tell them? _How _ was he supposed to tell them?

Wes patted Kurt's shoulder and nodded his head. "I'll call them now," he said, and walked away with his phone to his ear. Kurt tried to calm his breathing, making a mental list of people he had to call later, when he actually knew something. Finn probably already knew, he would call Rachel as soon as possible,. He'd have to call work, too, to let them know he wouldn't be in. Again, Carole's words broke through his frantic thoughts. "Where's Jackson?"

Kurt too a deep breath and spoke for the first time since he'd entered the hospital. It was harder than it should've been to get the few words out of his mouth in a low, broken voice. "Missy's got him; he's at home." Carole looked over to Burt, who nodded his head, agreeing to whatever unspoken question Carole had asked.

"Call me when you guys know something. I'm going to go to your apartment and relieve Missy from babysitting duties, okay?" Kurt nodded and went to give her his keys before remembering that she had a set of her own. She gave Kurt a quick, reassuring hug, planted a soft kiss on his dad's cheek and made her way to the elevator as Wes started toward them.

"Cooper's on his way now. Karen's in Washington. She's getting the first flight she can, and then she'll be here. And Jake..."

"Never mind." Burt said, in an attempt to keep Blaine's father out of Kurt's mind. His son had enough stuff to deal with right now, he didn't need any extra stress right now. "Kurt, come on. Let's sit down." Kurt shook his head, only just now noticing that he'd been rubbing his hands together. He couldn't sit down; he was too anxious not to be up and moving. Something about his dad being here had calmed his need to pace, but he still couldn't just sit. That wasn't an option. "Kurt." he was in no condition to argue with his father, and didn't protest when he pulled him over to the couch and sat him down, taking a seat next to him.

They all sat, silent. Twice Kurt's phone vibrated with new messages from Missy and twice Kurt's heart seemed to stop as he opened them, expecting the worst. She was hesitant about leaving Jack with Carole (they had never met, and she didn't really trust her) but Kurt was able to convince her that his step-mother was who she claimed to be. She went home after telling Kurt to call her when they heard anything... Cooper called him, too, but he gave the phone to his father- he was still finding it hard to speak right now.

His father had only been at the hospital for a half an hour and though he hid it well, Kurt could see how anxiety was starting to creep up on him, too. "You never had to wait this long for me, did you?" Kurt shook his head, and then considered the thought, replaying the distant, hazy memory in his mind. He hadn't had to wait more than an hour before the doctor came out and spoke with him about his father's condition, and he had been in a coma. If Blaine was worse...

_No. _he scolded his thoughts. He wasn't going to think about that. His father's case had been entirely different. He just had to wait. Just wait in the agonizing silence for the doctors to come and speak with them. To tell them that Blaine was fine, and that he would be coming home in a few days with just a few scratches and some stitches. Maybe a broken wrist...

The elevator dinged and Kurt shot up in his chair, but didn't stand. Cooper was hurrying down the hall toward them. He opened his mouth to say something, but Burt cut him off before he could, standing as he did so. He took Cooper over to the corner where they stayed for a few minutes, talking in rushed, low whispers. Kurt guessed that it was his father's attempt at keeping him as calm as possible and was grateful, but didn't dwell to much on the thought.

He couldn't hear what they were saying, but judging by the look on Cooper's face, he was furious at the lack of communication that was going on. Burt said something and it took a minute, but Cooper's feature softened slightly and he nodded. He asked a question, to which Burt just shook his head and he looked as though he wanted to yell, but just gritted his teeth and nodded again. The two men walked back over to the waiting area and sat down quietly. Cooper sat next to Kurt and rested a hand on his shoulder, but didn't speak. Just seconds later, however, everyone's eyes shot to Kurt, confused.

Kurt was walking fastly down the hall and at first, it seemed he was just pacing again but then everyone saw the tall man in a long white coat he was walking toward, and they too stood, following Kurt. They approached him just as Kurt started speaking. "What's going on?"

The doctor took his time looking at each person. His eyes moving slowly from Burt, to Wes to Cooper. Then Nick and David, before meeting Kurt's again. Kurt didn't like his hesitation- what did it mean? "Mr. Anderson took quite a blow." he started, immediately making Kurt angry. If he had something to say, why didn't he just come out and say it?

"He appears to have been on the ground before the building fell, so a lot of the debris hit his back- his spine is fine," he hurried to add, when Kurt opened his mouth to ask. "he needed some stitches and has a few fractured bones, but..." his voice trailed off and Kurt guessed that he was going to say "otherwise he's fine." but had decided against it.

"I want to see him."

The doctor hesitated and Kurt wondered what it was he was missing. What hadn't he been told yet? "He's comatose." he said slowly, waiting hesitantly for Kurt's reaction. For some unknown reason, it didn't affect Kurt as much as he had thought it would. His father had been in a coma before. It didn't phase him too much, but his heart still clenched slightly in response. He shook his head, "I need to see him,"

Again the doctor hesitated and Kurt swallowed, knowing already that he was going to hear something he didn't want to hear. "What?" he demanded. He felt arms wrap around him, but shrugged out of them. He didn't need comfort or support. He needed the truth. He'd been waiting almost fours hours doing nothing but living in his worst nightmares. He needed some kind of hold on reality, and he needed it now.

"Mr. Anderson is-"

"Blaine."

The doctor nodded. "Blaine is... unresponsive."

"What do you mean?" Kurt was starting to feel as though he were outside of his body, watching the scene play out in front of him rather than right there, asking the questions the doctor was answering.

"He inhaled a lot of smoke and there was a pretty bad head wound that required surgery... he's on life support, and a ventilator right now andnumbers aren't clear right now, but there's a very slim chance of survival."

Kurt's chest clenched again, but this time it didn't seem to want to loosen up. It got tighter and tighter until it was impossible for him to get any oxygen into his body. He heard voices overflowing around him, and forced himself back into the present. He had to see Blaine, and he knew he wouldn't be allowed to do that if he wasn't somewhat calm. His father's arm went around him instinctively but he shrugged it off. He was fine. He could do this.

"He need to see him," Kurt repeated through clenched teeth. His jaw was set, and he had no intent of moving until he was allowed into the room. The doctor considered it for a few long moments, consulted his clipboard a few times and the nodded curtly. This family had been through hell tonight, and it would only continue for god knows how long. The least he could do was grant them visitation after hours.

Kurt made his way to the door the doctor had left earlier, his father right behind him. Cooper stayed behind, asking the doctor more questions. Now that they finally had him out here, he wasn't letting him go so quickly. He had a thousand thoughts and questions in his mind and needed them answered now. He wanted to be able to explain everything to his mother when she finally got here. He would inform Burt when he came out, too. Burt would tell Carole and Kurt.

Kurt took a deep breath and stared at the door for a moment. He felt his father's hand pressed lightly against the small of his back and was reminded instantly of how Blaine's had been there just hours earlier, before he had left for what was quickly becoming the longest night of Kurt's life. He grabbed the handle and turned it, stepping inside the room that was filled with white. Way too much white. The walls, the bed, the sheets, the machinery...

Kurt didn't know what he was expecting to see, but it definitely wasn't this. The heart monitor in the corner behind the bed was beeping steadily, which calmed him a bit, but after taking one look at the man he knew so well, the foreign feeling left him instantly.

The man lying in the bed before him was not his husband at all and it hurt him to realize that he may not ever be that man again. His arm was in a cast, but that was a minor injury one Kurt didn't dwell to much on. There were tubes all over Blaine, strangers to his body. In his arms, his nose... they were like snakes tangled around his body. His head was wrapped in thick gauze and Kurt remembered the doctor mentioning a head wound. Had he mentioned how fatal it was? What the effects would be? He shook his head, forbidding the thoughts from getting any further.

His hand found its way to his mouth, covering it. Now that he was looking at Blaine, looking at the man who had a part of Kurt with him, he was finding it harder and harder to keep the tears at bay. He felt his father's arm make its way around his shoulders but he didn't say anything. They stood there for a few moments in silence. The only noise being the beeping monitor and their ragged, empty breathing.

"I'm gonna go call Carole," his father said after a while. Kurt heard the slight shakiness within his father's voice, but didn't acknowledge it. He just nodded his head, unable to take his eyes off Blaine. His father gave his shoulder another squeeze and then left the room slowly. The door closed behind him as if in slow motion. The door clicking shut seemed to act as a trigger.

His legs started moving toward Blaine until they reached the chair sat next to the bed. He fell into it, sitting on the very edge of the seat. Slowly, ever so slowly, Kurt slid his hand under Blaine's which was resting palm down next to his waist. A single tear escaped the confines behind Kurt's eyes and he made no attempt to wipe it away. "Blaine," his vice was choked and sounded foreign to his ears. Had he not felt his mouth move or the vibration of the word in his throat, he wouldn't have believed the word had come from him.

"Oh, God, Blaine. I am so sorry." Somewhere in the very back of his mind, a voice reminded him that he had nothing to be sorry for; that none of this had been his fault. He breathed in deeply, which he only regretted doing a second later. The oxygen that entered him seemed to act as a trigger, tearing down the wall he'd been building all night/morning. At first, the tears were only falling singularly. Each streaking his face with a new path. But then the entire dam broke and the tears were uncontrollable. He clasped his other hand over top of Blaine's, clutching it as his body shook with his soundless sobs.

A few minutes, or maybe even hours later, Kurt was somehow able to make himself calm down. He could do this later, when he didn't have to worry about being kicked out of the room which, even though he and Blaine were married, would probably end up happening. Only after he put up a fight, of course.

He sniffed and looked up at Blaine, who was completely motionless. Kurt could feel the faint pulse of blood in Blaine's wrist and was comforted somewhat by that and the monitor that was still beeping steadily, though it was annoying him more and more with every passing second. "God, you would probably kill me if you saw me right now," Kurt said, smiling slightly as he imagined what Blaine would say to him. He would laugh at Kurt, first, and then cock his head slightly and tell him that he was worrying over nothing and that if he was just patient, everything would be fine.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now," Kurt admitted aloud, wondering. He moved from the chair to the edge of the bed, bringing his fingers up to stroke the side of Blaine's face. "I'm not really sure of anything right now except for that I can't lose you. Please, Blaine just... just stay here, okay? Can you do that for me? Just try, okay?" He brought Blaine's hand to his lips and kissed it lightly before setting it in his own lap, still clutching it as though it were the only thing keeping him grounded.

He heard the door open and close and heard footsteps crossing the floor but didn't speak or turn to see who it was. The hand that touched his shoulder wasn't the rough, calloused one of his father, but the smooth, cool one that belonged to Cooper. "Kurt," he started, his voice seeming to hold every ounce of agony that Kurt was feeling, "come on, you gotta go home." Kurt shook his head furiously, his eyes shining with unshed tears.

"I'm not leaving him." He said determinedly, his voice thick with the unshed tears as well. "Cooper, I _can't,_"

Each word Cooper spoke was with reluctance and pain, as if he didn't want to believe what was coming from his mouth. "You heard the Doctor, Kurt. He's not... he's not waking any t-time soon... I'll be here, and so will mom and your dad. Well call you if anything happens, but you need to go home... just a few hours. Get some sleep or something."

Again Kurt shook his head, "I'm not going to be able to sleep." His eyes were starting to unfocused slightly ans he blinked in an attempt to clear them. He felt Cooper's hand tighten its grip.

"Jackson needs you, Kurt." He replied softly. At his son's name, Kurt's mind sobered up instantly. All thoughts of possible scenarios involving Blaine were wiped away and replaced by flashing images of his son's smiling face. His bright, golden eyes. How was he supposed to tell him? What was he supposed to say? A strangled cry of confusion and agony tore through his throat, and Cooper turned him gently and pulled him into a tight embrace. Kurt melted into it instantly, and felt some of his pain leave him as he realized for the first time that night that he wasn't going to be alone through any of this. "Go home, Kurt," his brother-in-law whispered into his hair. Kurt hesitated for a moment, but then nodded slowly. He needed his son right now more than he had realized.

He pulled away from Cooper's arms and looked at him, noting again the obvious resemblance there was between he and Blaine. He turned to Blaine again and hoped he wouldn't have to see him like this -so broken and helpless- for very much longer. He would wake up soon, and everything would be relatively normal again. He stood and planted a soft kiss on Blaine's cool cheek, letting his lips linger longer than he normally would've. He swallowed and pulled away. After another look to Cooper, Kurt did one of the hardest things he'd ever had to do.

He walked away.

Copper was right. Blaine would still be here in a few hours. There was no way that, if they were going to lose him, it would be that fast. He was being looked after by the doctors and people that he trusted with his life. He could trust them with Blaine's life, too. He was going to have to. His son needed one of his father's right now, and Kurt was the only one who could fill the deed at the moment. He needed to go home; he knew that.

But knowing that didn't stop each step away from the room to feel like a stab in the chest. He pushed away all feeling of sorrow and numbness and exited the room, bypassing his father in the hall without an explanation; Cooper could talk to him. He summoned every ounce of courage he had and took the step that would put him inside the elevator. A hand that didn't quite feel like his own reached out and pressed the button that would take him to the parking garage. He closed his eyes as the doors to the elevator slid shut slowly. He took deep breaths, trying to control his breathing, and pushed everything that threatened to break his facade into the very back of his mind.

He needed to concentrate on driving. On getting home to his son safely. He paid extra close attention to the road, making sure to stay the speed limit and stop completely at the numerous stop signs he came across on his way home. It would do his son no good if both of his father's were hospitalized and Kurt couldn't control Blaine, but he could do everything possible to make sure that nothing happened to _him _for the sake of his son.

Because right now, that was all that mattered.


	4. Chapter 3

**A/N: Of course as soon as I say something about uploading the chapters consistently, I miss the upload date. Because that just prove how (un)lucky I am.**

**Sorry it took so long to get this to you guys, but I ran into.. complications.. (which involved a hospital, about 7 doctors, a lot of blood being drawn, and a very annoyed, very tired author) But it's all better now, so here you go.**

**WARNING: May want to keep tissues close Just in case :D**

**P.S- here's a picture of Jackson (my nephew Bradley) to kind of give you a visual. ~ one- handone- heart. tumblr image/ 41210283013 (without the spaces)**

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_Smoke filled his lungs the second he took his mask off, but he was too preoccupied to notice or care at the moment. The boy sitting in front of him had been in here longer, and therefore needed it more than he did. He handed it over to the boy who looked as though he couldn't be any older than fifteen, and helped him up, keeping one arm on the boy and his other arm over his mouth and nose, covering them in a sad attempt to keep as much of the black smoke out of his lungs as possible._

_It was foolish for him to come back inside the building, and he knew that but didn't dwell on it. Everyone except this boy had been granted safety, and Blaine couldn't just sit back and watch as the building collapsed, knowing there was still a life inside of it. And now his mind only stayed on one thought, one word: safety. He needed to get this boy downstairs and back to his family before it was too late._

_He heard the building groan in protest and knew immediately there wasn't much time left. The boy stiffened next to him and Blaine could tell that he knew, too. The flames surrounding him were hotter than they had ever felt before, burning his face from ten feet away. They were at the stairs, now, and Blaine found himself at a crossroad: were the stairs strong enough to support their weight anymore? Should he take the chance? He looked around quickly, scanning the area around him. The flames had, miraculously, not yet reached the bottom of the stairs and he couldn't see any other way down to the first floor. He knew that the longer he spent thinking about this, the more risky and life-threatening the situation became. He led the boy down the stairs carefully, practically carrying him._

_The building groaned again, the flames getting higher and hotter wasn't anyone trying to put them out?_

_The path to the front door from the stairs was blocked; they would have to go around. Blaine was used to flaming obstacle courses by now, but something about knowing that the building was going to fall soon made him more edgy and cautious than usual. He couldn't afford to be cautious right now though, they needed to get out, and they needed to get out now._

_The building groaned yet again, this one lasting longer than before. Time was running out…_

_Then everything was black. He looked around hurriedly, trying to figure out where he was. He waited for his eyes to adjust so that he would at least be able to see the pale outlines of the shapes that were bound to be surrounding him, but they never did. His vision (or lack thereof, anyway) stayed pitch black and smooth. Nothing came even the slightest bit into focus._

_The longer he spent in the darkness, the more aware he became of everything around him. He could feel objects next him, hear the distinct, faded voices of those surrounding him. He couldn't make out what they were saying or recognize the voices at all. They were foreign to his ears. They were the voices of strangers._

_He became aware of his own body, but try as he might, it was impossible for him to move anything. It was as though his brain was disconnected from his body, and he was left, stuck, in the darkness that felt heavier and heavier each minute. He tried to figure out where he was and what he was doing, but could only come to the conclusion that he was lying down. He was a little cold, but not so much so where it bothered him too much._

_The voices faded even more before stopping completely and Blaine wondered whether he was alone or whether the strangers had just stopped talking. Now that they were gone, and he wasn't concentrated on focusing on them, he was able to notice other noises around him, too. Like the constant, annoying beep that was coming from somewhere to his left… or was it his right? The darkness was starting to become overwhelming. He wanted his sight back, and he wanted it back now. Being deprived of it was staring to make him feel a little bit crazy._

_Who knows how much time has passed (Blaine certainly can't tell) when he hears another, more familiar voice from far away. It's deep and soft at the same time and Blaine wonders why it sounds so familiar. He couldn't make out the words the man said, but he doesn't speak again- had he been talking to Blaine? Was he waiting for a reply?_

_Blaine was considering the thought when another voice spoke. It was closer and clearer than the other ones, even though it sounded the most broken_. "Oh, God, Blaine. I am so sorry." _Kurt. That was Kurt's voice. He would recognize it anywhere. But why was he sorry? What had happened? Why did he sound so upset? He felt a warm hand touch his own and ached to return the gentle squeeze Kurt had given it. Why wouldn't his hand move? All he wanted to do was touch Kurt, tell him that everything would be okay. That _he _was okay. But he couldn't, because for whatever reason, his body refused to listen to what his brain was screaming at it._

"God, you would probably kill me if you saw me right now," _Why? What did he look like? What was he doing? It sounded like he was crying, but what reason would there be for him to cry? Everything was fine! … Wasn't it? Blaine felt fine- or, at least, he thought he did. _"I don't know what I'm supposed to do right now, I'm not really sure of anything except for that I can't lose you. Please, Blaine just... just stay here, okay? Can you do that for me? Just try, okay?"

_Of course Blaine was going to stay here- where else would he go? He was trying to move, to see, to do anything to let Kurt know that, but nothing was working. All he needed to do was move one finger- just one- and then Kurt would know that he really was trying, and that he could hear everything that was going on, every word that was being spoken._

_Another voice came, then, and it took a little while until Blaine was able to recognize that it belonged to Cooper. What was Cooper doing here? Wasn't he supposed to be in Chicago? Blaine tuned out of the two men's conversation a little as he tried to remember whether or not his brother had mentioned coming home early._

_But he couldn't remember. He couldn't remember why Cooper was in Chicago in the first place, or if that was even where he was supposed to be._

"Jackson needs you, Kurt." _Whose voice was that, again? It sounded familiar but Blaine couldn't put a name or face to the sound. And Jackson. That name sounded all too familiar to Blaine's mind as well, but he couldn't remember why. Who was Jackson? A family friend? A relative? A colleague, maybe? Why was it so hard for him to remember?_

_He heard someone cry out nearby, and it made his heart clench tightly in his chest. Who was that and why did they sound so sad? Surely everything was fine, right? _"Go home, Kurt." _At the sound of that same familiar voice that belonged to a stranger, Blaine was pulled from his thoughts once more._

_Kurt._

_That name sounded even more familiar to his mind than Jackson had, and Blaine was trying to figure out why. Why did it sound so familiar? Why was it so hard to just put a name and face together in his mind? He searched through his memories, trying to answer his own, unspoken questions but he kept coming up short. Nothing was working, and the images inside his mind were starting to blur around the edges. And then they were fading away, one by one._

_Blaine could see the smiling face of a man that made him want to smile as well. He knew this man. Somehow, someway he knew who this was. Blaine liked the way this stranger looked, liked the way remembering him was making him feel calm and hopeful._

_He could feel everything inside of his mind start to fade away slowly, but he held onto this one. To this nameless stranger. He tried his hardest to bring this image to the very front of his mind and keep it there. He never wanted to let go of it, because he liked the way it made him feel as though everything was going to be fine._

_The image stayed clear for a while but then, just like all the others, it started to fade away. Slower than the rest, sure, but it was still fading._

_And then everything was dark once more._

_*/*_

The early morning traffic was worse than he had expected, and wanting to be extra careful driving, he decided on taking the back roads to get home. There weren't as many stop lights as there were on the main roads, and they were less crowded as well, but they were longer, too, which meant it took him longer to get home than usual. By the time he unlocked the door to the apartment, the gray sky had already changed to dull, pale, pink and was now slowly on its way to becoming golden.

Carole was sitting on the couch with her phone pressed against her ear. She turned when she heard the door close and gave a small sigh of relief. "He just walked in." she said into the speaker; he assumed she was talking to his father. He arranged his features into a question which Carole understood right away. "Nothing's changed," she assured him at once. "Karen just landed – she should be here pretty soon." Kurt nodded and turned to walk down the hall.

He opened the door to Jackson's room slowly, not wanting to make any more noise than necessary. The light from the hallway flooded into the room, falling softly on the sleeping figure of Jack. Kurt exhaled deeply and closed the door lightly. He crossed the room and leaned down, taking in the sight of Jackson. He was breathing deeply and evenly, his lips turned up slightly, the ghost of a smile lighting his soft features.

Jackson had obvious traces of both Kurt and Blaine in him. His hair, the same, light shade of bronze of Kurt's was curly like Blaine's. When it was wet or long the curls were clear. However when it was dry, just a few stray curls stuck out. His eyes were the same clear, shining gold that Blaine's were, and they shined even more when he was laughing, which was almost always.

He stared at his son's peaceful face for a few more minutes, watching his eyelids flutter every now and then as he dreamed. After a while, he carefully picked him up, along with his blanket, and carried him over to the rocking chair in the corner of the room. Jackson hardly stirred as he did so, only sighing contentedly as Kurt took a seat and began rocking slowly. He held him close to his chest, as he rocked, humming softly to himself as he did so.

Jackson was so young, so innocent. He knew nothing of pain or hurt beyond that time a few months ago when he'd somehow managed to slam his fingers in his door. Anything worse than that had yet to be experienced by the little boy, and Kurt wished that it would stay like that forever, though he knew it was impossible. He didn't want to have to come home one day to his son's smiling face and have to be the one to tell him that daddy wouldn't ever be coming home again. Jackson was young, yes, but he surprisingly intelligent for a child his age, and would be able to figure out sooner or later that something was wrong.

Rachel often said that he was like a cat in that way- that he could sense that someone else was upset or hurt without having to actually hear the words spoken. Kurt smiled slightly as he recalled this, and then remembered that he still had to call Rachel. He would get around to that- later. Right now, though, all he wanted to do was hold his son in his arms and pretend like everything was going to be okay, that everything was still the same, even if he knew that nothing was.

He felt his nerves calm and his anxiety melt away with every passing second he spent rocking his son. Soon, the sun was making its way through the curtains and dimly lighting the room around them. Kurt hummed softly as he rocked- a soft, slow tune that he made up as he went along. Surprisingly, Kurt found himself drifting in and out of a very light sleep as he sat there. He welcomed it, if only because he found it easier to forget the night's events when he did so. He felt Jackson shift in his arms and pulled his eyes open, looking down at his son.

He looked at his watch and saw that it was already almost half past seven. Jackson would be waking up soon, which meant that Kurt really would have to start going through the motions of his day. He made a mental list of everything he would have to do when he actually got moving. He had to call Rachel and update her on everything, he had to call Missy and thank her for watching Jack last night, he had to call off work and tell them he wouldn't be in for the next few days. He'd have to call Cooper and find out what was going on at the hospital before making his way over there himself.

Before he did that, though, he had to decide whether or not it was a good idea to bring Jack along with him. He didn't like the thought of Jack being here at home while he was at the hospital (even if he was with Carole) but didn't know if it was appropriate to bring him to the hospital with him. He weighed the pros and cons of both, but still couldn't decide what he wanted to do. He wasn't really sure of anything right now, but it wasn't for lack of trying. He wanted his son as close to him as possible- now that he had him, he wasn't in any particular hurry to let him out of his sight, but was sure that bringing him to the hospital, exposing him to that kind of environment, wasn't such a good idea, either.

Before he could think about it any longer, though, Jackson stirred again in his arms and Kurt knew it wouldn't be very much longer until he awoke, smiling and babbling away as though nothing was wrong- because to him, nothing would be. At least not until he realized that Blaine wasn't home, like he normally was on a Saturday morning. Kurt pushed the thought away from his mind (something he was getting quite good at now) and refused to think about it until the moment came. Jackson stirred once more before slowly opening his eyes. He blinked a few times, probably wondering why he wasn't in bed, before looking up at Kurt. Kurt smiled down at his son and watched as he closed his eyes again and snuggled into his neck. Kurt held him closer to his chest and waited for him to awake completely, knowing it would only take a few minutes. He continued humming as he waited, drawing light circles on Jack's back.

Sure enough it wasn't long until his son was pulling away from his chest to look at him. He smiled and brought a hand to touch the side of Kurt's face, "Dad," he whispered, making Kurt's smile widen. There were still light traces of sleep in his eyes, and Kurt knew it wouldn't be very long until they were gone as well- especially when he found out Carole was here. "Hi." Kurt whispered, turning his head to press a light kiss to Jackson's hand. His son smiled wider and repeated the word before squirming slightly. Kurt wanted to keep holding his son- to keep rocking him and humming softly- but knew that that goal was impossible now that he was fully awake. "What do you say?" Kurt asked, waiting for the soft reply that came just a few seconds later.

"Pretty please," Kurt smiled again and leaned in. Jackson pressed his lips to Kurt's. "Mwah!" he exclaimed, before squirming again. Kurt reluctantly set him down and watched as his son ran out of the room. He remained in the chair for a few more minutes, listened as Carole started up a conversation with the two-year-old and waited until he was ready to actually get up and face the rest of the day.

He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly before standing and exiting the room just in time to see Jackson race past him and push open his half-closed bedroom door. Kurt followed him into the dim room and leaned against the door frame as Jackson approached the left side of the bed -the side Blaine slept on- and said lightly "Daddy," Kurt's heart clenched tighter in his chest when he realized what he was trying to do. He was trying to wake Blaine up, like he usually did on the weekends. Except that Blaine wasn't lying in bed like he normally would be on a Saturday morning- not this bed, anyway.

"Daaaaaaddyy," Jack practically whined, reaching up to put his hands on the bed. Kurt walked over and picked him up, shutting the door completely as he left the room. Jackson whined again and looked confused- the expression on his face one of wonder and despair. An expression Kurt never wanted to see on his two year old son ever again.

"Daddy?"

Kurt only shook his head as he made his way into the kitchen where he could hear Carole, "Daddy's not here, baby," Kurt replied slowly, not wanting to say the words at all. The sadness in Jack's expression deepened at Kurt's words, and he found himself desperate for something to change the subject. His son may be intelligent for his age, but he was still a toddler, and was still (for the most part) easily distracted. He could see his son trying to make sense of his words and almost sighed in relief when Carole spoke, causing his attention to go immediately to her.

"Cooper called earlier, he wants you to call him back when you get the chance- nothing's wrong," she added hastily, seeing the look Kurt's face got when she said Cooper's name. If nothing was wrong, though, why would Cooper have called? And why would he need to call him back? Why hadn't he just called Kurt's cell if he wanted to talk to him? "He was just checking in, I think." Kurt nodded and set Jack down from where he was squirming in his arms again. He pulled his phone from his pocket and checked his messages, just in case he might've missed the notification if he had gotten one. Surprisingly, though, he had no missed calls or texts- surely, if Rachel had heard about what happened, she'd have contacted him right away.

"How are you feeling?" Carole asked carefully, leaning against the counter. Kurt bit his lip and watched as Jack took the cup Carole offered him with an enthusiastic "Thank you!" What was he supposed to say? He wasn't fine, and she knew that. He was feeling about a hundred things right now, and couldn't identify any of them. He just wanted this all to end as soon as possible. He wanted Blaine to wake up some time today, and then everything would be somewhat normal again. He'd have to stay in the hospital for a few more days- Kurt knew that. But at least he would be awake. Because no matter how many times he tried to tell himself that everything was going to be fine, he wouldn't actually believe it until Blaine's eyes were open and he was breathing on his own.

"I'm still here," he replied with a shrug. He really didn't have an answer to her question. He could see her wanting to push him into giving a better answer, but she seemed to decide against it. "I'm going to make a few phone calls before heading back over there." Carole nodded, letting him know she heard what she said before following Jackson into the living room. He dialed Cooper's number first- wanting to know all of the facts about what was going on before calling Rachel and catching her up on everything that had happened in the twelve hours since he last spoke to her. His brother-in-law's voice answered after three rings.

"Kurt, I didn't expect to hear back from you so soon." So soon? When had he called?

"What's going on, Cooper?" Kurt asked anxiously, beating around the bush at once. He hated being so far away from everyone- what if something happened while he was here, and he couldn't make it to the hospital in time? Now that his son was awake and the day was unfolding in front of him, each passing second made him more and more antsy. He needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. And he would. He would get in his car right after he hung up with Cooper.

"Nothing's changed, Kurt," he replied, his voice both reassuring and frustrated. Blaine was still in the same condition he'd left him in, which wasn't a very good thing, but it wasn't horrible, either. Cooper continued speaking before he could reply. "Mom just got here a little while ago and I filled her in on everything. She's a wreck, to say the least. Burt is with her right now down in the cafeteria getting coffee. He called Finn, but I don't think anyone's gotten ahold of Rachel yet- her phone's turned off so we figured she's in rehearsal. We left her a few messages. We managed to convince David and Nick to go home, but Wes refuses to leave and-"

"Cooper. Take a breath." He interrupted, hearing the slight hysteria in Cooper's voice. The thing about Kurt was that he could be in the worst condition ever, but as soon as someone else started freaking out, it acted as a sort of antidote for him. He was able to push everything out of his own mind and focus on everyone else. That's what he had to do right now, because even though Cooper was trying to keep his voice casual and calm, Kurt could hear the panic that was sitting on the edge of it and knew that he was freaking out inside.

"I'm going to try and contact Rachel and then I'll be right over, okay?" Cooper hesitated for a minute, probably confused as to why Kurt sounded so calm and collected when just moments ago he had been on the verge of hysteric ass well, but he didn't' comment on it. Instead, he just mumbled an uncertain "Oaky," and promised to fill Kurt in on the rest when he got there, saying it'd be easier to do in person. Kurt didn't dwell too much on what that might mean, but just chose to overlook it. "I'll be there soon," he promised before hanging up and trying Rachel's cell.

Like Cooper had said, it was turned off and Kurt was immediately greeted by Rachel's voice mail. He kept his message short and clipped, trying to sound as calm as possible. He didn't want to worry her too much, even if there would be every reason to worry. The last thing he needed was more people hopping on planes to come and spend the day waiting in a hospital when they didn't need to. He ended the call and made his way into the living room where Carole was sitting on the floor with Jackson as he pulled out all his toys from the toy box sitting in front of him. He watched as his son babbled away happily and smiled when Carole replied with things like "And then what happened?" and "Oh really? Did you tell anyone else?"

"Hey," Kurt said lightly. Jack turned to face him and smiled wider before standing and running over to him. Kurt picked him up at once and held him close to his chest. He placed a light kiss on his forehead and smiled again as his son touched his nose with his finger. "Nose," Kurt said, nodding. Jackson repeated the word softly before touching Kurt's hair. "Hair," again, his son repeated the word. "Where's your hair?" Jackson brought both his hands up to pat his head and Kurt laughed aloud at the expression on his face. "You're so smart," he said, poking his stomach before tickling him. Jackson's contagious laughter filled his ears and it wasn't long before he and Carole were laughing along with him. He pulled his hand away and shifted Jack from one arm to the other, waiting for his laughter to die down.

"Hey, listen. I have to go bye-byes, okay?"

"Bye-bye,"

"Yeah, bye-bye. So you have to be good for Grandma, okay? Are you going to be good?"

"Yes,"

Kurt hugged him tight and gave him a quick kiss before letting him down again, surprised that he was able to keep him still for so long, before turning to Carole. "Can you bring him over around lunchtime?" he asked, already knowing what her answer was going to be.

She tilted her head slightly and stood as Jack approached his toys once more and began playing music on a little piano. "Do you really think it's a good idea for him to be there?" He knew she was just looking out for Jack, but there was a part of Kurt that got angry at her words. Jack was his son, and would do what he wanted with him- if that included bringing him to a hospital, then that's what he would do. Who was she to question that? At that thought, Kurt felt sort of guilty. Why was he getting upset at her words, when he knew where she was coming from? He pushed away the confusing thoughts and sighed.

"Honestly? No, not really. But I can't be in two places at once, and I don't want to be away from him… but I can't be away from Blaine any longer, either… Please?"

Carole smiled at him sadly and wrapped her arms around him in a tight embrace. "Of course, sweetie." He returned her hug lightly before pulling away, knowing that if he spent any more time in her arms, he would start to unravel again. "It'll all be okay." She said full-heartedly giving his arm a squeeze before letting him walk out the door. He pretended that he believed he words; that he knew everything was going to turn out fine. Because if he pretended long enough, he would start to forget why he was pretending in the first place, and then he would be able to keep himself together. He couldn't lose it now. Right now, Cooper needed him. Cooper and Jackson and Karen- they all needed him. And Blaine- Blaine needed him, too. So he would pull it together now, and wait until this was all over before allowing himself to actually feel anything other than numb.

He called the office on his way to his car and vaguely explained what was going on. He took off work for the rest of the week, telling them he should probably be able to make it in on Thursday, and that if he couldn't he'd give then a call. All of Chandler's responses were sympathetic and after five minutes, Kurt hung up, agreeing to keep him updated on everything that was going on, already knowing that it was an empty promise. Chandler probably knew it that, too, but at least he understood why.

He finally made it to his car and, as he started it and began backing out of the parking spot and into the street, he found himself begging the God he still didn't believe in to let the traffic be less than what it had been on his way home. He was aching with the need to see Blaine. Even if the Blaine he would see was one that he didn't like to see, he still needed to see him. He needed to see his chest rise and fall slowly with each breath that he took (even if it was assisted), he needed to hear the annoying, constant beep of the heart monitor, needed to feel the light pulse of blood flowing through his veins.

Only then would he believe that Blaine was still okay.

* * *

**A/N: I know Blaine's section might be a little confusing, but I promise you'll understand it in the next few chapters!**

**Thanks for reading and please Review**

**Until next week,**

**- Robin 3 xx**


	5. Chapter 4

**I'm so sorry guys! I have no excuses other than that life got in the way again and I've been so freaking busy. I am so done with doctors by this point. I've seen like seven this month. For those of you that suffer from Panic/Anxiety attacks, I feel your pain and for those of you that don't- consider yourselves lucky because they are the WORST thing ever.**

**Thanks to President's Day I had a day off of school and decided to pull an all-nighter with my cousin and sister. This is the result. **

**Anyway, on to Chapter Four of this "lovely" little story. I promise you guys it will get happier as it progresses but until then, keep the tissues close.**

* * *

Karen's arms were around him the second he stepped off the elevator and Kurt was slightly surprised, but returned the embrace. He refused to stay in her arms for very long, though, knowing that if he did so he was sure to break down eventually. He stepped away and studied her, noting the features she and Blaine shared. There were few of them, and would probably go unnoticed to those who merely glanced, but to Kurt who had been known this woman almost as long as he'd known Blaine, they were obvious and easy to find.

Their eyes were the same shape and roughly the same color, although Blaine's seemed to be a deeper, more exotic gold. Where his mothers were a soft, dimly lit hazel, Blaine's were bright and bold with the slightest bit of green outlining the edges every now and then.

Kurt pulled his eyes away from hers finding his father's concerned one's and knew that Burt was waiting for Kurt to snap. He must've talked to Carole who probably told him everything he'd done (which wasn't very much) and didn't do (which, admittedly, was a lot) when he'd gotten home. He could tell from the look in his fathers' eyes that he was waiting for the moment when all of this would become too much for him; waiting for when he would finally allow himself to curl up in a ball and let his heart break with worry and despair. Burt would be waiting a long while, though, because Kurt refused to let that happen. He refused to let himself break before he knew for sure there was a reason to.

Maybe the "slim chance of survival" should've been enough for him but it wasn't. A slim chance didn't mean there was no chance, it just meant that Blaine's waking up seemed highly unlikely. A lot of things in his life had seemed that way, though. It had been highly unlikely that he would ever get out of Lima, but he had done that. It had been unlikely that he would ever marry the love of his life but he'd done that, too. The odds were never in Kurt and Blaine's favor but they always seemed able to beat them somehow. And this time it wasn't any different. They would get through this the same way they got through everything else. With patience, time, hope and- most importantly- courage.

Wes, like Copper had said, was still here and he looked exhausted. Kurt knew that he probably didn't look any better, but decided to go ahead and try to get him to leave. He had a family too, after all. "Wes, you should go home." Wes had been talking to Cooper, but stopped the second he heard his name. He turned to Kurt with an incredulous look on his face and shook his head at Kurt but didn't speak- struggling to find the words to respond. Kurt knew he was asking a lot- Wes had known Blaine since they were kids and by now was considered family. He and Blaine were brothers at heart and over the past few years Kurt had come to consider him a brother as well, but he looked terrible and was saying dangerously on his feet. Maybe sending him home wasn't a good idea, considering he might fall asleep t the wheel. "You look tired,"

Wes shrugged his shoulders "So do you, but you came back." Kurt was going to respond with an 'Of course I came back you idiot, did you really think I could stay away?' But he just bit his tongue slightly and hooded curtly, unsure of how to respond. He turned to Cooper, needing some type of reassurance. "Okay fill me in- what's going on?" Everyone looked at Kurt nervously, hesitantly, as though afraid of what his reaction might be to the words they were all thinking. Obviously they all knew something he didn't, and that angered him especially because this was Blaine they were talking about and he, more than anybody, deserved to know, right? Didn't they know that their silence spoke louder than anything that they would say? That if they stayed quiet, Kurt's mind would immediately jump to the worst possible scenario? "Cooper, I know you talked to the doctor- what did he say?"

Cooper looked at the floor for a few moments but then back up to Kurt' avoiding his eyes. "It's a slim chance," Copper said softly, making Kurt angrier. He already knew that! The doctor stood right there in front of him and told him that. That couldn't possibly be the only thing they knew right now though, could it? Certainly, the doctor (why couldn't Kurt remember his name?) had told Cooper more than that right? "That's it? That's all we know? It's been eight hours and all we know is that he's had surgery, he fractured his wrist, he can't breathe on his own and there's a 'slim chance'? We really don't know anything else?" He was pissed off, of course, and despite the lingering thought that he needed to stay calm, he didn't try to hide it. How was it that they didn't know anything else? Were the doctors keeping information away from him on purpose or did they just not have any more answers? Nine hours. Nine hours Blaine had been had admitted into this hospital, and they still didn't know anything useful?!

This. This was the universe just giving Kurt another reason to hate Ohio and it was working.

Kurt reeled in his anger for a moment when he saw the look in Cooper's eyes copied into everyone else around him. He held his breath when he deciphered the look- the one that told him that no, that was not all they knew and yes, Kurt might want to take a seat before anyone spoke again. He stared at Cooper, willing him to speak. When everyone stayed mute, Kurt didn't have any choice but to open his mouth. He was biting his tongue in frustration and was barely able to get the words out of his mouth. "Cooper," he said slowly, slightly hesitantly. "what don't I know?" He kept their eyes locked together, not breaking contact until Cooper finally spoke and Kurt was forced to close his eyes.

Cooper took a breath, preparing himself. He figured it was best to be blunt- figured Kurt would just get angry at any attempt he made to ease him into the new information they had acquired about Blaine's condition. "When they told you his back hadn't been affected they were- they were wrong." he managed, to get out, barely able to contain his own tears. He felt his mother's hand grab his and knew that, just like for him, hearing the information a second, third and even fourth time didn't make it any easier to take in.

Kurt remained as calm as he could, his anger subsiding immediately. He refused to let his brain get lost in the worst case-scenarios and forced his attention to stay in the present. "What does that-?"

"He's not paralyzed- per, se," Cooper rushed to add, still trying to keep himself together, "the left side of his body is sort of… frozen- that's how the doctor put it. But they said that with the right treatment and a bit of physical therapy, it would 'thaw out'… so to speak."

The anger was long gone from Kurt's system. Replaced by the numb, hollow feeling he'd been trying to avoid since arriving here. He reached out a hand and pressed it against the wall, putting all of his weight against it.

"Kurt-" Someone -he didn't know who- made to touch him, to offer their support and comfort. He flinched away from the gentle touch and held out his other hand. Telling them to just give him a second.

He could feel his body shaking but he had no control over that- no control over anything, really. His thoughts raced around, chasing each other, bringing images into the front of his mind that he didn't want to see. Didn't want to consider. His eyes were shut tight, and it was like the nerve that told his brain to open them wasn't working because, no matter how hard he tried, his vision remained black. His legs were trembling and he knew it was just a matter of time before they gave way, leaving him a crumpled mess on the floor.

But that couldn't happen. He wouldn't let that happen. Hadn't he promised himself when he stepped out of the elevator not twenty minutes ago that he would not break unless there was enough of a reason for him to break? Didn't he know that he needed to stay strong for everyone else that surrounded him? For Cooper and Karen and Wes and Burt and Carole and Jackson… and Blaine. He needed to stay strong for Blaine. Isn't this enough, though? a small voice inside him whispered, fighting to make itself louder, make itself known. Just give in… it prodded silkily, trying to get him to obey. Give in…

But he couldn't. He couldn't let the darkness of fear and despair and depression take him over completely; couldn't curl into a ball in the corner and cry; couldn't leave the rest of his family to fend for themselves. Not when he was tight here, and he knew how to help. He couldn't lose himself in trying to find Blaine… not until Blaine was lost for good… But no. That wasn't going to happen. Kurt wasn't going to let that happen. He didn't care that medical conditions were out of his control. Didn't care that the odds were completely against them this time. Didn't care that everything inside him was screaming at him to just shut down and let go. All he cared about was Blaine. Holding him, kissing him, talking to him. He needed to hear Blaine's laugh and see his million dollar smile. Need to see his eyes- the eyes that were mirrored perfectly in his mother's face. He needed Blaine next to him against him. At home, in their own bed. Alone.

But to get that, he needed to get through this, first. This was just another road block in the path they walked together, but they would get through it. Both of them would get out of this alive and well and everything would be fine again. Everything would be back to normal. Blaine would wake up, they would go home and everything would be exactly how it was two days ago. Everything would be perfect.

Kurt forced his breathing to slow- the rate it was going scaring even him, a little bit- and waited a few more minutes to make sure he was stable before removing his hand from the wall and standing straight again. He opened his eyes to see four anxious, concerned ones staring back at him- all with the shiny look he knew to be unshed tears. He nodded his head once and took another deep, shaky breath before trusting himself to speak again. "I'm okay," he reassured them, grateful when his voice didn't betray his statement. Everyone relaxed slightly, but none of them look convinced. "I just- I needed a minute, okay? This is a lot to take in at once, and I needed a minute to process it all, but I'm fine now. I promise."

"Kurt," his father began slowly, his voice set in the tone that Kurt was all too familiar with. Hesitant, stern, soft and deep all at the same time. "It's okay to break down, you know… you don't have to play the superhero."

He nodded again and smiled slightly, the action feeling strange to his muscles. "I know, dad. But honestly, I'm okay."

Burt dropped it. Kurt's voice might have convinced everyone else, but his eyes betrayed him completely. Kurt, who was usually so alert seemed as though he were detached from his body. Burt didn't blame him, of course, but it worried him that Kurt was acting the way he was. He had never been one to just push everything aside and focus on one thing, but that's exactly what he was doing now. He didn't like it, but he knew there wasn't anything he could do about it, either. So he just pushed the lingering concern away. There were more important things to worry about now, anyway.

* * *

Kurt tried to distract himself from everything by trying to call Rachel again and was surprised to here her voice come onto the other line after just three rings. "Kurt!" she practically screamed, giggling like crazy. "Hey I just saw that I missed you guys' calls and was just about to call you! What's up, is everything okay?" Now that he had her on the phone, he had no idea what he was supposed to say to her. How was he supposed to deliver the news in such a way where she wouldn't get worried or upset? All he wanted all night, other than for everything to turn out to be a dream, was to be able to talk to his best friend but now that he had that chance, he wanted to hang up the phone right now.

Because he still hadn't actually said the words aloud, and being on out of earshot from his family. He could do this. He had to do this. "Kurt, honey, what's wrong?"

He shook his head, biting back tears and pressed his forehead against the wall, trying to slow his breathing. He could do this. "Rach, I um- I have to tell you something, but before I do you have to promise me that you won't freak out or overreact first, okay?"

Rachel's response was hesitant and concerned, "Ooookaaay...?"

"Blaine's in the hospital." He didn't have to explain any further, because she knew. Rachel knew by the way his voice cracked upon saying Blaine's name, the way his tone was filled with all of the despair he wouldn't let his face show, the way he was barely choking back a sob, Rachel knew the severity of the situation. Maybe she didn't know all of the details, but she didn't need them. She knew all that she needed to know and she wished she didn't. Because what was worse than being four feet away with nothing to do, was being hours away, waiting for updates via text message or phone call. At least if she were actually there, she could offer more support and know everything first hand.

"I'm getting on the next flight to Ohio," she stated immediately, not even stopping to consider anything other than that.

"No," Kurt said determinedly. "You are going to stay in New York and rehearse your scenes. You're going to go out and get coffee with your friends and go to work. There's enough people here doing nothing but worrying, there's no sense in you doing it, too."

"Kurt, I can't just sit here and _wait _while everyone else is there. How do you expect me to do that?"

"We're all waiting too, Rach. You won't be doing anything here except sitting in a lobby with seven other people, worrying about things that are out of our control. Please, I just- I need you to stay there, and go on like everything is normal. If I know you're doing that, then, I'll be fine because I'll know that someone is still getting up and doing the things they need to do. You're my anchor, Rachel, and if you rush here than we'll both be completely lost. Can you just stay there, please? For me?" He knew he was pushing it, but none of the words that left his mouth were even remotely false because that was exactly how he saw it. As long as he knew that there was someone who wasn't planning their life around this horrid event, then he would know that it wasn't as bad as it seemed, even if it was worse.

"You have to call me every time you know something new, okay?" her voice was quiet and he knew that she had tears streaming down her face right now. Kurt nodded before remembering that she couldn't see him.

"Finn or my dad will be in touch," he replied. There was no way he would be able to speak any of the details aloud yet and they both knew it. He hated knowing that just stringing a few words together and making them roll of his tongue would be more than enough for everything in him to finally break down and couldn't risk that right now. Not when he was doing so well at keeping it all in. He bid Rachel goodbye, demanding that she promise to go about her day like usual. He didn't know if she would stick to the promise or not, but it didn't matter. As long as he _thought _that she was, everything would be fine.

He went back to his family in the stupid corner of chairs and tables and lamps and joined them as they all waited. Waited for what, he wasn't sure. Maybe they were waiting for good news even thought they all knew it wouldn't come so soon. Or maybe it was news that they were waiting for. Nothing specific, really, just _something _ to tell them that no one had forgotten about them. Or maybe they, like Kurt, were all waiting for the moment when they would all blink and end up back in their own beds to find that this whole night had just been a horribly vivid nightmare.

Kurt stood without a word and made his way to the door he knew Blaine to be lying behind. No one said anything as he walked forward and he wasn't stopped by anyone as he turned the handle and stepped into the room that was nothing but white and annoying beeps. He closed his eyes and took a breath as he closed the door behind him, preparing himself for what he knew he was about to see. He walked forward hesitantly, as though afraid that walking too fast would wake Blaine. The thought was ridiculous, but comforting in a weird way. Because that's all Blaine was doing, after all- he was just sleeping and would wake soon. He had to.

He took a seat in the chair he had occupied earlier and immediately took Blaine's hand in his. It was cold, but no so much so to where it worried him too much. He caressed it gently, staring at the face he knew so well. What he wouldn't give to just see Blaine's eyes right now; to hear his warm, husky laugh. What he wouldn't give to just have the roles be reversed right now. He would much rather be in this bed and in this position than have Blaine be there. Blaine would know exactly how to act in this situation. He would know exactly what to say to everyone else and what he needed to show them. But Kurt.. Kurt didn't know any of that. He and Blaine were similar and different in a lot of ways and one thing Blaine was that Kurt wasn't was strong.

Even through everything he'd been through in his childhood, at the end of the day Kurt always had someone to come home to and talk to about everything. Someone who would take all of the weight off of his shoulders and put it on their own. Blaine had never really had that until Kurt had come into his life (so he said, anyway) and even though he'd had to deal with everything on his own, he had still ended up an amazing person. Kurt always relied on everyone else and now, as he sat here next to his husband who may or may not ever wake up, everyone else was relying on him. None of them said the words aloud, of course, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. It was Kurt's turn to be strong, now. Kurt's turn to take all of the weight.

He shook his head and blinked away the tears that again threatened to spill from his eyes. He knew that as soon as he let just a few tears loose, everything would come falling apart and he couldn't risk that right now. Later, when he was at home and there was no one around, he would let himself fall apart. When it was actually official that Blaine wouldn't be coming back, he would allow himself to completely unravel for a little while but right now, right now he had to keep himself together for as long as possible and though he might not be very strong, he was strong enough for this. He would have to be.

"Please," he pleaded to no one in particular "please, just help me." he closed his other hand over Blaine's, squeezing tightly, hoping that, somehow some of Blaine's strength would go from his veins and into Kurt's. He didn't think much of it when his palm tingled slightly, as though someone had run their finger over it lightly. He hadn't slept in almost twenty four hours, after all, and knew he was more than likely hallucinating. When he felt the slightest pressure on his hand, though he knew there was no way he could've imagined that.

He tightened his grip slightly in return and tried to figure out what he should do. There was no way he was leaving the room and if he called out to his dad, there was little chance he'd be heard through the closed door. He looked around the room and saw the remote that controlled Blaine's bed. A red button was at the top of the remote and Kurt reached across Blaine and hit the button repeatedly before putting both of his hands back in Blaine's.

From where he was seated outside in the corner that could hardly be called a waiting room, something caught Burt's attention from the corner of his eye. He turned his head and looked to see what it was. The sign above the door of Blaine's room was glowing red and Burt pondered it for a moment before realizing what exactly that might mean. It registered in his mind as soon as he watched a nurse disappear through the door and before he could even stand, Cooper was right behind her. It took everything in Burt not to follow suit, but common sense told him that yet another person in the small room probably wouldn't help anything, so he stayed seated, glad that Wes and Karen were both down in the cafeteria. And instead, he just did what he'd been doing for the past ten hours... he waited.

* * *

"You're sure you didn't imagine it?" she asked again, obviously doubting Kurt's judgement. Cooper was standing by the door, but Kurt was barely able to pay him any mind, too caught up in what he'd just felt.

"I thought I had, at first... but then I felt it again. He squeezed my hand, I _know _it." the nurse still looked at him as though he was crazy, as though there was no way such an action could be possible, but replied, nonetheless, with a promise that she would get the doctor in here ASAP. Kurt nodded and stared down at Blaine, willing him to repeat his earlier action, to confirm that it hadn't just been his imagination.

The door closed and he heard Cooper move forward a bit, but was unable to move his eyes from Blaine. "Kurt... are you sure? Maybe you just thought-"

"I know what I felt, Coop." he interrupted immediately. "It was real." From the corner of his eye, he saw his brother-in-law nod his head, but knew that he, just like the nurse, didn't believe that such a thing could've happened. It didn't matter, though. They would believe what they wanted, and Kurt would believe the truth. Blaine had squeezed his hand, and he knew it.

Now, it was only just a matter of time.

* * *

**I know, that was very mean.. ;)**

**Don't forget to Review!**

**-Robin**


	6. Chapter 5 Part One

**Okay so this one is short, but that's just because it didn't feel right to continue the chapter after that, so I split it up into two parts.. Part two will be uploaded by tomorrow afternoon, I promise! **

**Don't forget to let me know your thoughts!**

* * *

Kurt held onto that feeling for the next few days. Every time he started to doubt himself or his strength, every time he remembered just how bad Blaine's condition really was, every time he spent countless hours just sitting next to Blaine's bed, staring at him he remembered the feel of the slight pressure Blaine had put on his hand. The memory was as clear as though it had just happened, and Kurt wanted it to stay that way, because that slight squeeze was enough. It was enough to keep Kurt going for a little while longer. It was enough to give him the strength, the will and the reason to keep up this façade and push through everything to do the things he needed to do. He did as much as he could with little sleep he was getting. Even though the memory of Blaine's responsive touch was still fresh in his mind, it did nothing to sooth the nightmares he would see when he closed his eyes.

Besides, Kurt couldn't sleep now that he knew Blaine was still here because what if he missed something? What if as soon as he went home, Blaine woke up or was responsive again? Kurt couldn't risk missing anything that happened with Blaine. He wasn't taking any chances this time, not with something as serious as this. But while Kurt held on to Blaine's response like it was a lifeline, everyone else seemed to think that he had just imagined the entire thing, that he was so desperate to believe Blaine was okay, he would do anything to convince himself of such.

Of course, they didn't say so directly, but they didn't need to. Kurt wasn't stupid and being deprived of sleep did nothing to cloud his intelligence. He knew- by the looks his family stole to him and each other- he knew they were all watching him... waiting for when he would finally break and he was tired of it. He didn't need to worry about his family on top of everything else that was going on in his mind, but apparently he had no choice over what thoughts exited his mind and which ones lingered so he just tried to stay away from the depressing thoughts as much as possible; tried distracting himself with other things like playing with Jackson and calling to chat with Rachel. Rachel, bless her, always seemed to be right next to her phone, and always answered when he called. He tried to call at a time when he knew she wasn't in rehearsal but one day she'd been in the middle of a dance routine and she stopped the entire thing to answer his call. A "family emergency" she'd said. And, of course, the directors didn't call her out on it because she's Rachel Berry which, in New York, meant she was like, the queen.

And when he called, it was through an unspoken agreement that they discuss nothing of what was happening right here in front of him, and about everything else that was going on. Kurt pressed her for information about Carson and work and anything else that would keep his mind away from everything- at least for a little while. She always did so reluctantly, as though hopeful that he might actually start talking about this whole situation. He never did, and she never brought it up but that didn't mean that he didn't know she was thinking about it; of course she was thinking about it. Rachel Berry did not just let things go and in this situation, Kurt didn't blame her but... he just couldn't do it. It was bad enough that he couldn't find the strength to leave again, but to talk about it all while sitting right next to Blaine... no. He wouldn't do it. His strength was already being tested and strained enough as it was. He didn't need anything to worsen that.

So he just didn't do it. It wasn't as simple or as easy as it sounded, but he could pretend that it was and that was all that mattered. If he could force himself to believe that everything was going to be fine then it became a little bit easier to get through the day. And Blaine's hand. Blaine's hand in his made everything even more bearable. But, unfortunately, even he couldn't be at Blaine's bedside all day. Visiting hours applied to him, too so when he was forced to leave the room each evening, he spent the night wide awake in the hallway in a chair right outside of Blaine's door.

As the days passed, he could tell the rest of his family was getting anxious as well. Cooper had forced Karen to go home and Kurt knew, had she not been so exhausted, she'd have gone kicking and screaming. Carole, bless her, was still taking care of Jackson when he wasn't with Kurt at the hospital. Kurt's heart still ached every time he asked where daddy was and he still didn't have the heart to take him in to the room. Daddy, he would reply, was on a trip and would be back soon. Jack's face would fall for a few seconds but, being a baby and having short attention span had its perks and he was asking about something else within a few minutes. Burt, against his wishes, had to go back to work or else the garage would end up closing down. Being back at work was good for him though, Kurt knew. Fixing up cars had always been his father's way of escaping the world and just relaxing and Kurt wanted him as stress free as possible right now, afraid that the events of the past few days would take its toll on his heart condition.

He was sitting with both hands tightly clamped around Blaine's when he heard the door open. He looked up briefly to see Blaine's nurse Kyleigh set yet another vase of flowers down before moving on to check Blaine's vitals. Kurt watched as she worked, but didn't say anything. Kyleigh was silent, too and Kurt was grateful for that. She seemed to be one of the only people who understood that the last thing Kurt wanted to do right now was speak. When she finished writing the last of the information down on her clipboard, she met his eyes and nodded once before leaving the room. To anyone else, it would just seem like she had acknowledged his presence, but to him the simple head movement meant so much more. They had worked out a sort of system over the last few days, which meant that Kurt knew just by Kyleigh's nod that nothing had changed. Nothing's better or worse. Everything with Blaine was exactly as it had been since he'd been admitted into the hospital earlier that week. The only difference was Blaine having squeezed his hand a few day's previously but apparently that didn't even count because everyone else swears that it's impossible for it to have happened. Even the doctor had looked at him like he was crazy.

He watched as the door closed behind her and turned his attention back to Blaine, bringing his hands to his lips and pressing a kiss to them lightly, squeezing his hands tighter as he did so. If he was being honest, Blaine's hand between his own were the only thing keeping him grounded at this point. He knew that he promised himself he wouldn't get lost in the black hole that was despair, but every day it got harder and harder to resist it; he didn't know what everyone else expected him to do and wished now more than ever that Blaine was there with him right now, if only to tell him what he should do. It was in that moment that Kurt realized he relied too much on Blaine. And he realized that Blaine wouldn't always be there to tell him what to say and how to react, and he really, _really _wished that he hadn't thought of that because now he was thinking all of the thoughts he had been trying so hard to keep from his mind.

Remembering the feel of Blaine's soft lips when they met his for the last time; remembering the feel of his fingers resting lightly on the small of his back and the way his eyes had been dimmed with regret when he walked away from Kurt that night. The sound of the door closing behind him as he left. The sound of the ringing phone until Blaine had picked up almost instantly. The sound of Blaine's voice, flooded with so much emotion that it was hard to pick them apart, as he told Kurt that he loved him for what might possibly be the last time ever.

The tears started flowing slowly before he could even stop them and this time he didn't attempt. He was feeling so many things at once and it was hard to keep his thoughts together. His mind was running at a thousand miles a minute and he had no idea what he was supposed to do. So he just sat there like he had been all week and did nothing. Because that's all he could do. He hated feeling so helpless and useless. He couldn't do _anything. _Cooper chose the wrong moment to try and coax Kurt out of the room because in the exact moment he closed the door behind him and started to speak, Kurt got pissed. He stood so fast that he knocked over his chair, which he kicked across the room, knocking over one of the flower vases in the process. He couldn't take it anymore. All of this waiting and waiting for _nothing. _

And Blaine! Blaine broke his promise and Kurt was pissed about it; he had reason to, didn't he? Blaine promised, he _promised _he would be careful and he wasn't. He wasn't careful because look where they were now. If he had just kept his promise, everything would be fine and he would be at home with both his son and his husband and everything would be like normal.

The tears were running faster down his face and he vaguely registered Cooper's voice reaching his ears, asking questions that he couldn't bring himself to answer. And then Cooper's arms were trying to wrap around him but Kurt pushed him away and banged his fist against the wall. Not hard enough to leave any type of mark, but hard enough to where he felt the pain; it just angered him even more. "He promised!" Kurt yelled angrily, keeping his fist against the wall, his head turned down toward the floor. "He fucking _promised, _Cooper!" His brother-in-law was obviously confused and Kurt didn't blame him; even he knew his anger was irrational. Blaine had no control over anything that had happened and it was selfish for Kurt to think that if Blaine had just left that kid alone, he would still be here. But dammit, he was frustrated and tired and distressed so the last thing he was worried about was whether or not his anger was justified or not.

He let his arm slide down the wall and then allowed the rest of his body to follow, crumpling into a ball on the floor. He felt the broken glass crunch beneath him but couldn't bring himself to care. He was lucid enough to register Cooper pulling him into his chest and that was about all he really knew. All he was aware of. He wasn't aware of the heart wrenching sobs that were shaking his body to the core, or the tears that were soaking into Cooper's shirt. He wasn't aware enough to hear other voices around him or even remember where he was. He _was _aware enough, however, to think of how this was the breakdown everyone had been waiting for and how now they had gotten it and how they could all stop worrying so much about him and they could focus completely on Blaine.

Blaine.

And with just that thought, the sobs clawed their way painfully out of his chest again and he couldn't bring himself to stop. He couldn't bring himself to care what was going on. He didn't realize that he was now being moved into another room or that Cooper's fingers were still running through his hair soothingly of how his father's voice had suddenly appeared from nowhere. He didn't hear the sounds opening doors and closing elevators. He didn't register that he was now being lifted because it was obvious to everyone surrounding him that there was no way he could stand even with assistance.

He noticed none of it, registered none of it, cared about none of it. Because his mind had finally slipped into that black hole that sucks everything within it and he knew there was no way of escaping it. His mind had finally stopped thinking so much and he was only focused on one thing: Pain. And it was a pain so deep, so strong, that it caused his chest to tighten so that he instinctively curled into a ball to make it stop. But it didn't stop because the pain continued clawing at his heart slashing and stabbing until he thought that there would be nothing left. He couldn't feel anything but the pain but somehow, though it was completely terrifying, it was okay. Pain was okay.

Because he knew that after the pain was over, he would finally, _finally _be allowed to enter the wonderful little world of nothingness. He would think about nothing, care about nothing, _feel _nothing. And that thought allowed him to endure the pain for a little while because he knew that it would be over soon. It would all be over soon.

And hopefully it won't take too long for that to happen. And maybe the pain in his chest would be enough to rip him form this dream and place him back into reality and maybe, just maybe, the black hole within his mind would be strong enough to make him forget all of this.


	7. Chapter 5 Part Two

**So my muse decided to switch things up on me and this chapter ended the way I wanted it to, but brought in some new characters along the way. It's longer than I expected it to be but I think it's okay.**

* * *

Kurt was exhausted. He had been pretty good at pushing his exhaustion into the back of his mind; had been good at relying on adrenaline to keep him awake throughout the week, but having emotional breakdowns really takes its toll on a person and he felt like he was about to drop at any moment. But that was the funny thing because as tired as he was, he was too tired to sleep. He wasn't quite sure if that was really possible but it was now because that's exactly how he felt right now. He didn't need to resist sleep, because sleep stayed away. Every bone in his body ached with tiredness, and it was hard for him to concentrate or even understand anything. Everyone kept telling him to sleep, but he refused. He wasn't about to tell them that he literally couldn't, because that would probably just cause them to get a hold of a doctor who would more than likely give Kurt a shot or something to _make _him sleep.

They had taken him home, apparently. His father (having come to check on everything after work) had driven while Cooper sat in the back, holding Kurt as though his life depended on it. This is what he was told, anyway. He didn't remember any of it, really, though he had caught bits and pieces of spoken words in the times when his mind would focus on reality for a few seconds every now and then. He had calmed down by the time they had pulled into the parking lot and Kurt remembers hearing his father and Cooper talking to him. He remembers hearing his own voice- thick and hoarse and unfamiliar to him- answering their questions but he remembers nothing of the words that had been spoken. He didn't even remember how he ended up in the chair by Blaine's bed, but he was pretty sure there had been some screaming involved. Cooper had told him that he had slept for a few hours earlier before they had come back, but Kurt didn't remember entering his apartment, let alone lying down in his bed.

And now he was back in the room where it all started and he was angry at himself. He had gotten mad at Blaine for something that he had no control over; he had allowed himself to let go and completely unravel but instead of his family being relieved that he finally let go, they seemed sceptical and wary, as though waiting for him to do it again. It was as though the breakdown had caused him to completely register the situation he was in. Before, there had still been a part of him that had been hoping that everything was just a really long dream. But it was as though a light switched had been flicked on and now everything was clear to him. He couldn't deny anything anymore; it was like allowing himself to feel all of the pain he had been refusing to accept had made room for reality to sink into his brain.

And now he just felt numb. He was numb and exhausted and wanted it all to be over soon. If not for Blaine's sake, then for his own.

Carole brought Jackson in earlier and Kurt had tried his best to be patient and understanding with the toddler, but his son hadn't had a nap and was not being well behaved in the slightest. Kurt could only say "no" so many times before he finally snapped at his son. He felt horrible about it, but there was nothing he could do but take his son into his arms and hold him close, rocking him until he was fast asleep. That was a few hours ago and Carole had taken home not long afterward. Aside from Rachel calling to check in and Cooper sitting with him for a little while, Kurt had been alone ever since. The glass, he noticed, had been cleaned up and the flowers replaced with a bouquet of lilies. Kurt couldn't look at them for more than a few seconds, memories of black tuxes, tears of joy and vows of forever filing his head when he did so, but he couldn't bring himself to request them to be removed, as they were Blaine's favourite flower.

Cooper entered the room then and Kurt found himself glad for doing so, happy that his train of thought turned a corner and left memory lane because he didn't know how much more remembering he could take. Cooper smiled slightly at him and handed him a cup of coffee, which he accepted gratefully, taking a sip of the warm liquid. They didn't speak for a few minutes, both of them too caught up in staring at the man lying in front of them, both encased in their own world of memories and feelings and laughs. Blaine used to laugh a lot, he realized. After a while, Kurt got used to Blaine's laugh, and it didn't really mean anything to him anymore. He got used to his laugh so much that whenever he heard t, it would no longer make his heart skip a beat of his blood to run just a little faster. After a while, Blaine's laughs became just another thing he did… like when he sang. And Kurt scolded himself for not appreciating the little things as much as he used to. He would give anything to hear Blaine's laugh and his voice and now more than ever he hated himself for allowing those minor details to slip away from his mind.

His train of thought turned another corner when Cooper took a seat on the other side of Blaine's bed. The movement distracted him long enough to pull himself away from his thoughts and distract himself from everything that was going on in his head. He thought talking might help, too so he said the first thing that came into his head, his eyes locked on the cup resting in his lap. "How's mom?" he asked softly, not really knowing what else to say. He had always called Carole by her first name but the first time he met Karen (which had been about a year and a half into he and Blaine's relationship) she immediately insisted on him calling her mom. "Mrs. Anderson is my mother-in-law" she had explained, "and all my friends call me Karen. You've been living with my son for how long? You call me mom." And Kurt really couldn't bring himself to argue because she was so sure of it and Blaine had looked so please with her acceptance. He remembered Blaine saying later that night that she had practically just given them her blessing, for which Kurt was happy about, too.

He was pulled from his thoughts yet again when Cooper spoke. God was _everything _he thought about going to lead back to Blaine? Surely he had some memory that didn't cause him to think of him? "She's doing better. I finally got her to sleep and I think she went over to your place to be with Jackson and Carole for a little while… you know, Kurt-" He shook his head, immediately knowing what Cooper was going to say.

"Cooper I told you, I can't sleep. There's no way. And besides even if I could… I don't want to see what's waiting for me behind my eyes. Flashes and images… memories that have been slipping away… words that might never be said again. I just- no. I can't deal with that yet. I can't face it…" he hadn't confessed that to any of his family before, and wasn't entirely sure why he had done so now. Maybe it needed to be said, or maybe he just lost control of his voice and it had acted upon its own accord. Whatever the reason, it didn't stop Cooper from coming over to him and taking a seat on the arm of his chair, pulling him into his chest.

"I know, Kurt. Believe me, I know." But did he, though? Kurt knew that Cooper was just as close to Blaine as he was, but they were close on different levels and in different ways. He wasn't blind to the fact that Blaine's family, as well as his own were all hurting just as much as he was right now, but did that mean that they knew exactly how he was feeling? He wasn't sure, but he didn't think so. None of them knew what it felt like to put those gold bands on each other's fingers and pledge themselves to each other forever. None of them knew how it had felt when they had stood next to each other and held their son for the very first time. And none of them, not even Cooper, had even the slightest idea of what it felt like as every memory Kurt had of he and Blaine flashed through his eyes when he was watching, helpless, as that building came falling down. That didn't make him selfish, though. That just made him human. And all Kurt could think about right now was that time when he and Blaine were in college sharing an apartment with Rachel and Santana and how he had just found out that his grandmother had passed and how Blaine had held him the exact way that Cooper was holding him now. And it felt like a stab in the chest when he realized that that might never happen again.

He took a deep breath, suddenly feeling as though he were trapped in a box and suffocating. He pulled away from Cooper and walked quickly out of the room. The elevator would take too long to get to him, so he opted on the stairs, taking them two at a time until he finally got to the lobby and rushed outside. The cool evening air hit him like a slap in the face but it felt good on his feverish skin. He breathed deeply, drinking in the fresh air as though it was the last time he would ever get to do so. He ignored everyone around him and just closed his eyes, leaning on the railing and allowing the sun to warm his face. He needed to calm down. Thoughts like that would only lead to another breakdown and he was still weak from the previous one. It was no use telling himself that everything would be okay, because he knew now that it was a lie. But just because things weren't going to be "okay" doesn't mean that they were going to be horrible. He had to remind himself of that and maybe he would be able to control himself better.

His heart rate was slowing and his breathing was more even, now. The pain in his chest had numbed enough to where he was able to push it from his mind but he still stayed outside, wanting to make sure he was in control of himself before going back into the building. He knew Copper had followed him outside to make sure he was okay; could feel his presence nearby, but he didn't speak and Kurt was glad. He just needed to figure things out. He wasn't sure how long it was going to take, but that was okay. It wasn't the end of the world.

"Excuse me?"

Kurt looked up and turned, somehow knowing the voice was talking to him. He found himself facing a family of three; a woman, a man, and a son that couldn't be any older than fifteen or sixteen. The man looked very uneasy and out of place, as though this were the last place he wanted to be. But his wife had a kind smile that matched her polite voice and Kurt wondered where he had seen her before. They all looked vaguely familiar to him but he didn't know why. "We're so sorry for bothering you but are you Kurt Hummel?" Kurt threw a questioning glance to Cooper who looked just as confused but then turned back to the family. He nodded slightly, unsure of what to say, but the woman continued before he could think too much about it. "I thought so! We recognized you from the news and you-" she turned to Cooper "-you look like Blaine Anderson… are you family?"

Now Kurt really was confused, but Cooper saved him from having to speak just yet. "Yeah… I'm his brother. I'm sorry but who are you?"

"Oh, how incredibly rude of me! I'm Brianna Ross. This is my husband Daniel and our son Kyle." Kurt nodded to let them know he acknowledged them, but was still confused. Her husband, he noticed, wouldn't meet his gaze but instead kept his eyes locked on something behind Kurt's head. He didn't know why this lady was talking to him or who she really was. She was very talkative, though and she had a very Rachel-y personality in the fact that she was very bubbly and seemed as though she'd had a little too much caffeine. Kurt said silent prayers to her family. "I'm sorry we haven't met sooner. We were released a few days ago but hadn't heard any of the details until earlier this morning. It was Kyle, actually, that insisted on us coming down." And again, Kurt became even more confused. Kyle spoke this time and his words cleared everything up in an instant.

"Blaine saved me." He said simply, both admiration and awe clear in his voice. "He saved us and I wanted to let him know how grateful I am but…" His voice trailed off and Kurt knew what he was going to say "but he's still comatose, so I can't." Kurt swallowed thickly, his throat seeming to close up on him, his heart swelling to the size of a balloon. He didn't feel like he was going to breakdown this time, though. He just felt… happy, was it? He couldn't tell what it was, exactly, but it was a good feeling. This family, in the midst of losing all of their possessions and almost losing their lives, had taken the time out of their day to come down to the hospital, track them down and _thank _him for what Blaine had done. He felt the tears make themselves at home behind his eyes, but he didn't allow them to spill over. He felt Cooper's arm slide around his back, giving him a reassuring squeeze and he smiled at the boy and then at his mother.

"Thank you." He didn't recognize the tone of his voice, but knew it reflected the emotion he was feeling right now. "You don't know how much this means to me." And really, they didn't because in that moment when three complete strangers approached him and told him that his husband was the reason they were still breathing, Kurt really did know that everything was going to be okay. He didn't know when and he really didn't care. But everything was going to be alright sooner or later. They didn't have to track him down. The minute they learned of Blaine's condition they could have just shrugged it off and left. But they found Kurt to let him know; to make sure that somehow the message would get back to Blaine.

"I know it's none of our business, and we really don't have the right to ask, but would you mind calling us when he… When we can speak to him?" Cooper took the card she offered to Kurt and nodded.

"Yes, of course."

Brianna smiled. "Thank you so very much." Her voice was no longer chipper and animated, but sincere and full of sympathy. Kyle stepped forward and wrapped his arm around Kurt's waist. Kurt was surprised at the action, but hugged him back nonetheless. It was a short hug, but Kurt didn't miss the steely look that the boy's father got on his face after they broke apart. He didn't dwell too much on it, though, because it didn't really matter too much. Everything was going to be okay.

*/*

Kurt, as per usual, got no sleep that night except for the few times he sort of dozed off for a few minutes every few hours. Instead of making himself home in the chair outside of Blaine's room, though, he headed toward the cafeteria which was –thank you God, - open all night. He ordered his coffee which actually wasn't as bad as people think it is, and then found himself placing Blaine's coffee order, too which earned him a sad look from the cashier; she had seen him come in alone and knew his story. Everyone did, it seemed. But he supposed he couldn't be too surprised because this was a hospital, after all. What else is there to talk about other than patients and visitors? He sat at a table with both coffees and sipped his own, placing Blaine's across from him.

Coffee was another thing he had let slip from his mind. He remembered early in their relationship how all they would do was go out for coffee. After they saw a movie, before they went for a walk, in between class and work. They would always find a reason to meet up and have coffee together even if it was only for ten minutes. But then life got in the way and they were suddenly too bust balancing work with college and there had been hardly any time to sleep and breathe. And after they finished college and moved to Westerville, both wanting to be closer to family, there was a wedding to be planned, shopping to do, paperwork to file and then Blaine was working nights and Kurt was working days and then there was a baby… Kurt wondered when the last time they both just stopped to breathe was. When was the last time they had taken a break and really appreciated each other and everything they had? He hated that it took something this drastic to realize it and vowed right then and there to make sure it changed when they got out of this.

Because they were going to get out of this.

He headed back up to the ICU and spent the last two hours back in his chair outside of Blaine's room. Rachel called and he talked to her for a while but he didn't mention the little epiphany that he had. He wouldn't tell anybody because it really didn't concern anyone else. Except maybe Blaine. Carole called around eight and he talked to her and then Jackson for a little while before taking a deep breath and entering the room filled with white. It was ridiculous, wasn't it, that he was used to seeing Blaine like that. He shouldn't be used to it, but he was. Because he'd spent every day for the past week and a half in here and now white was just another colour and that annoying beep didn't even bother him anymore.

Until its pattern changed. It skipped a beat. And then two. And then went back to normal. Kurt looked around, confused. He didn't notice anything different. Blaine's hand was in his and it was still the same, neutral temperature it had been all week. His face the same expression. He figured he'd just imagined the noise, but there it was again. _Skip, normal, skip, normal_. And then it got just a little bit faster. And then it went back to normal again. Kurt hit the call button on the remote, completely unsure of what else he should do. It might just be nothing, but he didn't want to find out otherwise. Kyleigh entered the room a few minutes later with her clipboard in hand. "What's going on?"

"I- I have no idea. His heart rate just got kinda weird. The beeping pattern changed and I didn't know what that meant, so… I called you." Kurt had no idea what he was saying and was sure he sounded like an idiot but really, what was he supposed to do? He kept Blaine's hand in his, just in case and with his free hand he pulled out his phone and called Cooper, who was downstairs with his father and Karen. Any change had to be a god change. At least that's what Kurt kept telling himself as his blood started to get cold and his own heart stared beating faster. His family entered the room shortly afterward and they all watched as Kyleigh took notes on various things, pretending to know what she was doing even though they didn't have a clue. Cooper's free hand found Kurt's and Kurt squeezed it slightly, knowing it was more for Cooper's sake than for his own. Any change is good change.

_Normal. Skip. Normal. Normal. Skip. Skip. Normal_…

The pattern kept changing and Kurt found that his own heart started jumping when the monitor skipped a beat. He was staying calm, refusing to let himself worry even though every second felt like an hour. It had been not even ten minutes since Kyleigh stepped into the room and now she was finished writing. "I can't say for sure what's going on… I'm just going to go get the doctor and have him check it out." None of them responded, and she walked out of the room returning just seconds later with the doctor whose name Kurt could never remember. All eyes were on Blaine as the doctor seemed to do exactly what Kyleigh did. He asked no questions about anything, and Kurt didn't know whether it was good or bad, or if it really mattered. _Skip. Normal. Skip. Normal._ Kurt wanted to know what it was that the doctor kept scribbling on his own clipboard. What more was there to know? He put his fingers against the inside of Blaine's wrist… taking his pulse, maybe? Kurt wasn't sure but he was getting antsy with each passing second. Finally, the doctor spoke, not removing his eyes from Blaine.

"What was going on before you noticed the change?"

Everyone looked to Kurt, who had to close his eyes and think about it for a second. It wasn't too long ago, but the information slipped into the back of his mind and was replaced by scenarios and thoughts about what was happening now. "Um… I was talking to him, I think." _Skip. Skip. Normal. Skip. Skip._

"About what?"

How was this relevant in the slightest? "Coffee." Kurt answered, confused. _Skip. Skip. Normal. _"I was just remembering when we'd go to the Lima Bean." _Normal. Skip. Skip. Normal. Skip. _

The doctor nodded and Kurt tried not to get frustrated with the lack of communication they were receiving right now. Why wouldn't he just tell them what was going on? "He's starting to be a bit responsive." He explained and right then Kurt thought his heart was going to jump out of his chest. He couldn't make his mouth form the questions he wanted to ask but luckily, his father could.

"What does that mean?" _Normal. Normal. Skip. Normal. _That one didn't change as much as the others, Kurt realized and despite everything he found himself wondering why that was. The doctor wrote a few more things down on the clip board and was quite for a few more minutes before seeming to realize that someone had spoken. Again, he answered without looking up.

"It means that he's registering other people being around him… or at least, Kurt, anyway." _What?! _

"He recognizes my voice?" Kurt asked softly, still trying to process everything. _Normal. Skip. Skip. Skip. Normal. Skip. _The doctor looked to Kurt as if saying that what they just hear on the monitor was all the answer he should need. He pulled his hand away from Cooper's subconsciously and brought it so that Blaine's hand was in between both of his own. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Cooper gravitate to his mother, sliding an arm around her shoulders as she brought her hands up to cover her mouth.

"Blaine," Kurt said slowly, softly. _Skip. Normal. Skip. Skip. _"Blaine, honey, it's okay. I have your hand in mine right now, can you feel it?" _Normal. Skip. Normal. Skip. _Kurt found his own heart racing faster with anticipation but he kept calm. It took everything in him to keep his voice soothing, afraid of letting it get too panicky. He stood so that he was looking straight down at Blaine, rather than from the side. "Blaine, if you can feel my hand, I want you to squeeze it, okay?" _Skip. Skip. Normal. _His voice broke on the last word and he cleared his throat before speaking again, keeping his eyes locked on his husband's face and couldn't stop the silent tears that started to stream down his face slowly.

"Remember the song, Blaine? The one you sang with Rachel senior year?" _Skip. Normal. Skip. Skip. Normal._ "Well I'm holding your hand, Blaine. It's right here... right to my heart..." _Skip. Normal. Normal. Skip. Skip. Skip. _

Kurt gasped and froze completely, instinctively tightening his grip on Blaine's hand.

"Kurt, what happened?" It wasn't light like it was the last time. It wasn't faint. There was no way he imagined it. Ho. He couldn't possibly have imagined it. His breathing got faster and the tears started coming even faster. He couldn't even identify what he was feeling anymore. He didn't even feel like he was here at all, but somewhere else. Somewhere amazing and beautiful.

"Kurt, what's wrong?"

He shook his head, unable to answer. "Blaine, it's okay. I'm right here." _Normal. Skip. Normal. Skip. Skip. Skip… _And there it was again. He didn't even know how he was still standing because suddenly he was completely numb with relief and happiness and just… He didn't even know but it didn't matter, it didn't need a name. He didn't care. Because everything was going to be fine. It was all going to be so much more than fine because…

"He squeezed my hand." He didn't know how he was even able to say the words, how they were able to escape his throat when it felt as though it were closing up, but he did and he became unaware of everything that was going on around him except for that Blaine's hand was in his and… there it was again. The doctor was near him, doing something, his words going unheard to Kurt but apparently everyone else was able to hear because he thinks he heard his father or maybe Cooper answer. He took a shaky breath and held Blaine's hand for all it was worth. He was so focused on the feeling of the pressure he had felt, that he hardly registered movement in front of him. His eyes shot back into focus and the tears stopped but the huge ball of emotion inside his chest kept growing because Blaine's eyelids were fluttering as though he were dreaming. As though he were dreaming, and about to wake up…

And then the entire room faded away from him completely and Kurt couldn't breathe because as soon as his eyes met gold ones that were dim and filled with uncertainty and confusion the bubble inside of him burst and everything was happening in a hazy blur of slow motion and muffled voices. He didn't know what he was supposed to do; his brain was disconnected from the rest of his body and he couldn't remember how to move or breathe or speak or blink and everything inside of him was screaming with relief but somehow his lips formed shapes and his throat had cleared up because one word escaped his lips without his permission. "Blaine…"

He was speechless. He had no idea what to say. The golden eyes he had missed so much were locked on his but they weren't filled with happiness or concern. No, they were filled with confusion and wonder. And then he saw a flicker of recognition flash within them and Kurt thought he'd be able to breathe again, but he was wrong. Blaine cocked his head to the side, like he so often did but the words that left his lips were unexpected and curious. He stared at Kurt and the ghost of a smile highlighted his features but Kurt couldn't bring himself to smile back. And Kurt's heart stopped because as much as had wished and hoped every day to hear Blaine's voice and see his eyes and just see him _move. _He couldn't bring himself to smile or be happy and all sense of relief he had been feeling was immediately wiped away and he felt his heart drop to the floor. Kurt didn't know what it was, but something was wrong. Something was really, really wrong. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. And everyone else did, too because the entire room froze when Blaine spoke.

"I know you."

* * *

**1) You're welcome**

**2) PLEASE DONT HATE ME**

**3) This was a really hard chapter to write and I'm not sure how I feel about it, so please let me know what you think! **

** Lots of Love, **

**- Robin **


	8. Chapter 6

**I swear I had this done and ready to upload yesterday but life got in the way again… I can't be too mad, though, because I had an awesome idea that I had to add to this chapter so… yeah. No much to say here until the end, so I'll see you at the bottom!**

* * *

"_I know you."_

He didn't know how, but he definitely recognized the man in front of him. His eyes, though shining with tears and lined with sadness, were the brightest blue he had ever seen. There were purple shadows beneath them, though, contrasting with the colour and making his features seem less beautiful and more sad. But they were, though. Beautiful, that is. Even with the tiredness etched sharply into every single one of his features, the man standing before him was breathtakingly, indescribably, gorgeous. He knew this man. He was _so _familiar to him, but he couldn't pin point it. It was like when you tried to describe something, and couldn't find the right word to finish your sentence with. It was there, on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn't find it and it frustrated you because you _know _that you know it? It was like that.

But it was a lot more frustrating than that because it wasn't just this man. It was everyone surrounding him as well. Except the man in the white coat. He didn't recognize him at all. Everyone else, though… He knew them. Their faces sparked a flame inside of his mind and he tried to search his brain, wracking his memory for anything that involved them. Doing that though, felt like digging through a pile of wet sand to try and retrieve something that had fallen in. He came up blank and even more frustrated with himself.

He took his time looking at everyone surrounding him. A man who couldn't be any older than mid-thirties (if that) had his arm around a woman who looked too old to be his wife. They shared very subtle features, though, so he figured they could be related somehow. Another man was closer to the doorway. At first glance, he was immediately someone that he wouldn't want to come across. Ever. He looked tough- like one wrong word would constitute as permission for him to throw the first punch. Looking closer, though, he saw that this mad looked as tired and relieved as everyone else around him. Maybe he was the woman's wife? It didn't really seem very likely, but that didn't mean it wasn't possible.

The man in white spoke and he met the stranger's eyes, curious. "How are you feeling, Blaine?"

Blaine? What an unusual name. As soon as it was spoken though, he knew it belonged to him, it sounded familiar and the man was looking at him when he said it, so it must be his, right? He wasn't sure how to answer the question, though. Now that he was thinking about it, he recognized a dull pain in the back of his head, just strong enough to irritate him, but not enough to really have him concerned. His head felt heavy, too, and he realized now just how much effort it was taking for him to keep his eyes open. He took a deep, shaky breath and winced upon doing so, feeling as though someone had stabbed him.

He exhaled slowly, not missing how the man with the blue eyes looked even more concerned than the doctor. He was a doctor! That's why he was asking questions and wearing a white coat. That's what doctors did, right? "Confused… tired…" he was going to say something else, but the words became lost in his clouded mind. He realized, then, that the man with the blue eyes was holding his hand. He didn't know what to think about that, or what it meant but he did what was instinctive. He squeezed the man's hand, trying to be comforting because he looked really sad and Blaine didn't know why. As soon as he did it, though, he knew it was the right thing to do. The corner of his lips twitched slightly in response and tears filled his eyes again. Why was he so sad?

He smiled in response to him, and turned his attention back to the doctor who was speaking again. Everyone seemed to be hanging on to his every word. "I'm going to run a few tests and ask a couple questions okay? It's okay if you don't know the answers just do the best you can, okay?"

He nodded, his head feeling heavier when he did so; the doctor's next words weren't directed to him, though, but to everyone else in the room. "It's a little too crowded in here for my liking, and I'm more than positive that it's not going to do anything to help right now, so if a few of you wouldn't mind stepping out into the hall…"

The man closer to the door nodded but didn't say anything. Blaine watched as he walked out of the room before turning his attention to the man next to him. He really did have the prettiest blue eyes. He looked conflicted but then spoke softly, the look on his face contradicting his next words. "I'll be right out in the hall, okay? And then I'll come back in after everything's done." The man who was near the woman spoke as though someone had just told him the moon was made of cheese.

"Don't be ridiculous, Kurt. You and mom are staying here." And without further ado, he left as well, closing the door behind him. Mom? Okay, so maybe they were brothers but then what was he to them? Another brother? An uncle, maybe? And Kurt. That was an unusual name, too. And though it seemed familiar, it sounded weird inside his head.

"Kurt." He said it softly, quietly, trying it out on his tongue. He looked at the man when he said it and something inside him clicked. Yes, this was Kurt. How could he have forgotten? The man smiled down at him, looking as though he was about to speak before the doctor, who had been charting something on his clipboard, started asking questions. Kurt's mother (who looked absolutely nothing like him) moved to stand next to Kurt, her eyes moving from the doctor to him while they talked as though she was watching a tennis match.

Some of the questions he was asking were pretty easy to answer. What part of him hurt? (Everywhere.) Where did it hurt the most? (His chest, definitely.) How much did it hurt? (When he breathed? A lot.) On a scale of one to ten how bad was his headache? (About a four, but when he actually started paying attention to it, it felt worse.) The questions seemed endless and as the time passed it got harder and harder for him to keep his eyes open (though a look at the clock told him they'd only been at it for ten minutes.) Finally, the analysis was over and the doctor stated that he was going to ask questions concerning "events before the accident" whatever that meant. "I'm afraid both of you are going to have to step out this time." The doctor said, seeming to really regret having to say the words. He went on to explain before either one could respond. "I don't want anything to influence his answers, so he has to be alone. It will only take a few minutes and then you're welcome back inside."

They both looked really hesitant to leave and Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand again, feeling like it was the right thing to do. "It'll be fine." He said, trying to reassure him. He didn't know why, but Kurt looked devastated. He nodded, though, and left the room with his mother. The doctor waited until the door was closed completely before starting to speak again. He remained standing, though Blaine really wished he would sit.

"What's the last thing you remember?" he asked, looking at Blaine curiously.

"Um…" Blaine closed his eyes, trying to pick through the fog inside of his head. He saw images and shapes, but they were dim and hazy. He heard words being spoken but they were muffled and incoherent. A few things stuck out more than the rest and though he felt unsure about them, he voiced them anyway, because that's what he was supposed to do. "Red." He looked to the doctor, unsure of himself but continued in explaining when he didn't receive a response. "Red and orange and hot… it was really hot and hard to breathe. But I think it was a dream, because it doesn't seem real.

"That's not a dream, Blaine. You got caught in a house fire. Why doesn't it seem real?"

"Because I don't remember a lot of it. Just colours and noises but I don't know what the noises are or even what happened. Just that it was hot." The doctor nodded, scratching words onto his clipboard before turning his gaze back to him.

"Do you remember anything before that?"

Again, Blaine had to close his eyes to even try and get a memory out of his clouded brain. He almost didn't want to open them again because all he wanted to do was sleep. It felt good to have his eyes closed. His head didn't feel that bad and the lights weren't as bright…

"Blaine, I need you to stay with me for a little bit longer, and then you can sleep, okay?"

He nodded and pried his eyes open, taking a minute to let his vision adjust to the lighting. "Always." He said; the doctor looked at him, confused so he went on to explain. "That's what I remember. I think I said 'always', but I don't know when or why."

Again, the doctor nodded but didn't respond, instead opting to move on to another question. "Did you recognize the people that were in here earlier?" Blaine nodded; of course he did. "Do you know who they were?"

He shook his head but tried for a guess, anyway. "Kurt." He said simply, as though it should explain everything. "And he was with his family, right? His parents and his brother?" The doctor nodded, writing more notes onto his clipboard and Blaine was beginning to really hate the sound of his pen scratching the paper. Really, it was annoying. He found himself wanting answers. Was his guess right or wrong? What was going on? Why did everyone look so sad and why did he feel so confused? Why was it so hard for him to remember?

"Last question, and then I'll let you sleep, okay?" Blaine nodded, even through all of his uncertainty, he like the idea of sleep. Sleep was comforting and friendly and a lot easier to understand than everything going on around him. "What's your name?" Well, that was an odd question. How did the doctor not know what his own patient's name was? He had just said it a few minutes ago.

"Blaine."

"What's your last name?"

Blaine blinked. No one had spoken his last name since he'd opened his eyes. No one had told him what it was. He thought about it for a few minutes but soon the effort became too much and his head felt as though it were going to split in two and he was forced to give up on his mission. "I- I don't know. I can't remember."

"That's quite all right." The doctor pushed a button on the remote that was resting by Blaine's hand on the edge of his bed and then exited the room, a nurse taking his place by Blaine's bed not a minute later. She was young and very pretty with a smile that was sweet and understanding, but not too cheerful. She took a needle and stuck it into the IV hanging next to his head but didn't speak until she had pulled the needle away, having completely emptied its contents into the plastic bag.

"This is going to make you a little sleepy, but it'll help with the pain, okay?" Blaine nodded, too tired from both exhaustion and medication to do very much more of anything else. He watched with half-closed eyes as she exited he room and waited for Kurt and the rest of the people to come back in. Didn't they say they would be back? He kept his eyes forced open for a few, long minutes before it became too hard to keep them from closing.

*/*

Kurt was ecstatic.

A thousand different emotions were surging through him and he had no idea what he was supposed to do or say. He was relieved. Happy. Grateful. But everything was pushed into the back of his mind all too soon. It was all still there, but it quieted a little with each word the doctor spoke until they were completely muted. Until he couldn't feel anything but numb again. He tried to push that feeling away, to tell himself that it was all okay because Blaine was awake, Blaine was going to be okay, and everything was going to be fine. But his brain didn't feel like listening to rhyme and reason right now because it was still latched on to the words the doctor had spoken. Well, just one particular word, anyway.

_Amnesia._

He had heard the word spoken a million times before, but never had it affected him like it was now. Never before had his heart dropped and his breath stopped upon hearing the word. Never before had he felt the urge to scream and cry and yell and punch something all at once. And now everything was falling apart just as soon as it had been stitched together. He didn't know what he was expected to say or do but he forced himself to listen to what the doctor was saying to them because he needed as much information as he could get. He took in every word, gluing it to his memory. He was determined to remember everything the doctor was telling him. Some of the terms he was using were ones that Kurt had never heard before, so he asked what they meant, asked for a timeframe asked every question that he'd been too preoccupied to ask the past week.

As soon as they got done talking, the doctor needing to head to surgery but promising to answer more questions later, Cooper and Karen exited Blaine's room and informed Kurt that they were heading out for a little while. First to the airport to meet up with Blaine's father who had finally gotten a plane home and then home to let him get settled in and freshened up before they came back to the hospital. That meant Kurt would be given a few hours alone with Blaine. He wasn't too sure how he felt about that yet. Kurt was staring at the door to Blaine's room, thinking. Sitting by Blaine's bedside when he was unconscious seemed so much more inviting now when the alternative was having to sit with an awake Blaine who didn't know who he or anyone else was. At least then he could pretend that everything would be normal. He didn't even get to have his fantasy anymore because Blaine was very much awake and yes, Kurt was relieved that he would be okay but he didn't know if he wanted to walk in there and sit next to the man who held his heart, when same man wasn't even aware of it.

He felt Burt's hand clasp his shoulder and didn't push it away this time, instead he brought his own hand up to cover it and took a deep, shaky breath. "You don't have to go in there right now, you know." He said softly, looking down into Kurt's eyes, seeing the hesitancy and fear. "Whenever you're ready." Kurt nodded and swallowed; he had to go now. If he didn't walk through that door now, he probably wouldn't ever be able to do it and he didn't want that to happen. He knew himself well enough to know when his strength was fading, and he could feel it starting to slowly ebb away with each second. If he didn't go now, he wouldn't be strong enough to go later. He nodded again to himself and stepped forward slowly, knocking lightly on the door before turning the handle and stepping inside.

Blaine looked up when he closed the door and smiled. "Kurt," his voice sounded relieved and… happy? Kurt couldn't point it out. He smiled in return, unable to find words and took a seat in the chair he'd been occupying for so long now. Blaine's eyes watched stayed on him, taking in each movement like it might never happen again. "You're not my brother." Blaine stated simply, like he already knew the information was true. Kurt smiled slightly and shook his head.

"No, I'm not."

"But Cooper –my actual brother- he called her 'mom' and so did you." Kurt nodded but didn't speak. The amnesia, the doctor had informed him, was most likely temporary. He remembered some things, and little things like words and pictures could cause him to remember even more. His memories would come back at their own pace. So Kurt didn't answer Blaine yet, opting instead to let him try to come to his own conclusion. "Are you family?" Again, Kurt smiled slightly.

"Sort of." He gave no other explanation, watching as Blaine looked down, twisting his sheets in his hands, trying to remember. He bit his lips in concentration and closed his eyes tightly. Kurt reached out and placed his hand lightly on top of Blaine's. "Hey," he said softly, resisting the urge to lace their fingers together, unsure of how Blaine might react. "It's okay, don't worry about it."

Blaine met his eyes. "But I _know _you. I know I do. Only I can't remember why or from where." He sounded helpless and Kurt closed his eyes, biting back tears and inhaling slowly. He opened them again to find Blaine staring at their hands, Kurt's left one resting on Blaine's right. Before he could reassure Blaine that it would be okay, that he would remember soon, Blaine spoke again, his tone wondering and concerned.

"You're married." Again, not a question and again, Kurt couldn't help but smile slightly.

"Yes."

"How long?" He met Kurt's eyes again and Kurt could see the slightest hint of recognition within them; he wondered what Blaine was thinking about right now, what he was starting or trying to remember.

"Almost five years officially." Blaine inclined his head slightly in that way he always did when he was wondering something and Kurt answered him before he could even voice his question. "We've been together since high school."

"How old are you?"

"Twenty six." He watched as Blaine tried to do the math in his head with some difficulty but when he spoke, he was returning to their earlier subject.

"You're _sort of_ family? So you're not like, blood related?"

Kurt shook his head, "No, but I've known you and your family for years."

Blaine looked away from him then, trying to put the puzzle back together. It killed Kurt to see him like this; he had all of the pieces, he just didn't have the picture to help him out this time. He ran his thumb lightly over Blaine's knuckles in an attempt to reassure him without words. Blaine looked at him before bringing his eyes down to their hands. He saw something flash across Blaine's face and wondered what it was he was remembering. What had he figured out?

Blaine pulled his hand from underneath of Kurt's slowly, putting it in his lap with his left hand and twisting his fingers together. Kurt found the action curious, but refused to feel hurt by it. Blaine had no idea who he was right now, which meant he was probably just trying to figure out why Kurt had taken the action; what it had meant. He sat back in his seat, putting his own hands in his lap and keeping his eyes trained on Blaine as Blaine tried to sort out his thoughts. He wished more than anything that he knew what was running though Blaine's mind right now. Wished he could help Blaine out in some way. But he couldn't. This was Blaine's fight- one that he had to fight alone; one that Kurt had no control over. But just because he didn't have a choice in what happened, in what memories came back to him and thoughts that ran through his head, didn't mean that he couldn't help.

He considered just telling Blaine who he really was. What his relationship toward him and his family was but then decided against it. He wanted to, he really, really did but something in the back of his mind kept him from opening his mouth. A voice telling him that Blaine might not react very well to the news, whispering that just because Blaine recognized him didn't mean that he would respond well to finding out he was gay all over again. That's what it was about, really. Kurt wasn't naïve enough to think that amnesia would completely change Blaine's sexuality- to think that would be ignorant and just plain stupid. A bump on the head didn't change who you were attracted to. But to realize that you're gay when you don't even know _who _you are… Kurt didn't even want to imagine how that might feel and honestly didn't want to.

A movement from the corner of his eye caused him to look up. Blaine was holding his head, rubbing circles into his temples. Kurt considered reaching out to him again but refrained from do so, worried about how Blaine may take the action. He opted instead for making his voice sound as comforting and reassuring as possible. "Hey, it's okay. Don't think too much about it. It'll all come back to you with time." Blaine looked at him with an expression that he couldn't read and nodded but didn't speak. "Why don't you try and rest? You didn't get very much sleep earlier and you look tired." Again Blaine nodded but didn't speak. He laid down and, despite the tubes and wires that were attached to him, turned on his side to face Kurt.

He was silent for a few more minutes as he searched Kurt's eyes and Kurt wondered, vaguely, what he had seen to cause his gold ones to light up a bit more. "I'm going to figure you out, Kurt." He promised, his voice a determine whisper. "It might take a while, but I'm going to do it."

Kurt smiled and despite his earlier promise to himself, reached a hand out to rest on the side of Blaine's face, his thumb caressing Blaine's temple lightly. "I hope so." He whispered just as softly. Blaine smiled slightly, keeping their eyes locked together until they became too heavy for him to hold open. Kurt didn't remove his hand until after Blaine's breathing had completely evened and he was positive Blaine was fast asleep. He took a deep breath, stood and pressed a kiss lightly to Blaine's forehead before stepping out of the room to call Rachel. He needed to fall apart just a little bit right now, and he knew for sure she would answer the phone.

*/*

Kurt was so close to him that Blaine was sure he would be able to count his eyelashes if he really tried. But at the same time, they weren't close enough. Blaine wanted to hold Kurt. To pull him tight against his chest and never let him go. Kurt's arm was around Blaine, rubbing soft, soothing circles around his back. "We're going to be okay," Kurt whispered, his voice breaking with what Blaine was sure were unshed tears_. What was Kurt talking about… why wouldn't they be okay? What was wrong? Why was Kurt so upset?_

Despite not understanding Kurt's words, Blaine found his own mouth moving, the words escaping his lips were barely audible, moving a hand up to wipe away a tear that had escaped the corner of Kurt's eye. "Of course we are. Everything is going to be fine. We've been through worse than this." _Worse than what? What was going on? _His voice sounded foreign to his own ears and again, his body acted of its own accord. He took Kurt's left hand and set his over it, the silver rings gleaming together in the dim light of the room.

"We started this together; we're going to finish it the same way."

*/*

When Blaine awoke, he was more than confused from both his dream and the fact that his eyes didn't meet the startling blue of Kurt's, like he'd been expecting, but instead the dark green ones of his brother… Cooper. That was his name. His brother's name was Cooper. He blinked a few times to see clearly before sitting up, saying the first words that came into his head. "Where's Kurt?"

Cooper smiled but Blaine didn't understand what was funny. "We forced him to go home for a little while to rest. Maybe he'll actually be able to sleep now."

Blaine was confused again. "Forced him?"

Cooper kept smiling. Blaine liked Cooper because he didn't act like his mother had. He'd been a bit tearful, but otherwise acted like everything was okay. Like they were at home instead of in a hospital. Blaine liked that, because he didn't like people looking so sad, especially when they were people he loved. He may not know very much right now or remember anything, but he knew enough to know that he felt very strongly toward everyone who he'd seen so far today. Except the doctor. He didn't know how he felt about the doctor yet.

Cooper was still smiling, but his voice got a little bit more serious. "Since you've been in here he's put up some fights about leaving your bedside. Even when the visiting hours were over, he'd just sit outside. He says he's sleep some but I can tell he hasn't. I'm hoping that now he knows you're going to be okay, he'll be able to get at least a little bit of sleep." He must've been able to see how conflicted Blaine was because he looked at him curiously. "What's wrong?"

"I just- I can't figure it out. I was sleeping and remembering… I think. Images and words flashed around. And I _know _that I know who he is I just… can't put it together." Cooper considered telling him, but remembered Kurt's earlier warning not to. _Let him come to it on his own. _Those were his exact words. Kurt had looked so devastated when he'd said it, though. And the way Blaine was looking at him right now… he just couldn't stand it.

"What was it that you remembered? Maybe talking about it will help."

Blaine looked conflicted for a moment, trying to bring back the memories. He spoke with his eyes shut tight. "We were laying down, I think… or maybe we were standing. It was just me and him. And we were talking about something… It was really confusing, but I could tell that something was wrong... It's really fuzzy, so I know it must be a memory, right? Didn't the doctor say that would happen?" Cooper didn't speak; he didn't know the answer to Blaine's question, because he hadn't gotten the chance to speak to the doctor- he only knew what Kurt had told him when he got back two hours ago. He chose to stay silent, letting Blaine ramble about his dream until he finally came to a conclusion about five minutes later.

"Are we –me and him- are we… married?"

* * *

**Yay! Blaine's remembering things! I'm thinking that he'll meet Jackson next chapter, and there's definitely going to be a dad scene in there, too. Blaine's dream/memory might seem a little weirs, but just think of it as him watching the scene from afar and the italics are his thoughts while he's "watching" it… **

**His parts are more complicated to write than I thought they'd be so I'm going to ask that you just bare with me for a little while. If you have any questions or there's anything you need me to clear up for you, please do not hesitate to message me with them!**

**Anyway, please review so I know your thoughts! **

**Until next week-**

**-Robin xXx**


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